It's All Connected...I Swear.

Woohoo...?

2011-04-11T10:47:00.001-04:00

More than four weeks with no headaches...I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my upcoming trip to Canada will be a celebration of 5 weeks with no headaches. It's just the little things...

More Adventures...

2011-03-13T09:10:00.003-04:00

A certain gentleman who exercises regularly, admits to being a pothead, and notes that it's important that his prospective dates have good hygeine. Then he notes that he likes golden showers. Kinda flies in the face of the hygiene thing, no?

Adventures in Dating Websites and Other Stuff

2011-03-12T07:04:00.002-05:00

Bridget had baby Liadan a month ago now. I've been lucky enough to spend quite a bit of time with them, and Liadan is just beautiful. Bridget seems to be doing quite well. I know she'll be a great mom :)

I got a fantastic compliment from a gentleman from Toronto on okcupid.com. "Curling makes you an honorary Canadian." *sigh* Does it get any better than that? I need to move to Canada.

And the creepiest thing I saw on the same website (different profile):
"The most private thing I'm willing to admit:
babies are so cute, the yare tiny and adorable and i just wanna hold them. im fixed tho so no worries there."
Oh, there's so much wrong with this...

And finally, 3 weeks with no headaches and then they came back Wednesday after work, and just in time for my interview Thursday morning. I took some naproxen Thursday morning just to take the edge off and so that I wouldn't feel like complete ass for the interview. I woke up Friday around 4 in the morning with tears streaming down my face. It took me a minute to realize it was because my head hurt so bad. Makes me wonder if something else is going on since this wasn't positional. Maybe there is a migraine component? Ugh - who can say? No headache this morning, though, so maybe this latest bout is over.

Sigh.

2011-03-04T10:04:00.002-05:00

-Two and a half weeks with no headaches...this feels like an accomplishment that I truly have no control over, but I'll take it an run with it anyway. My appointment with the neurosurgeon went well, as the MRI looked better this time around. My brain's not nearly as saggy and things seem to be healing. I get to go back in May.

-Work is getting to me. I'm trying to keep plugging along, but my motivation is at an all-time low, and I think it's pathetic that I find going to the plant an accomplishment. I need to buckle down and focus on what I want to do next - either commit to making this work, or find another job, or figure out if I want to go back to school. I feel like an office job will eventually make me insane, but that could be because I haven't had one for so long. Maybe there would just be an adjustment period. Or maybe it's time to find a career that would make me feel better about how I'm spending my time...something more altruistic...

-I sometimes watch Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade so that I feel better about my cooking. Her use of cooking spray is horrifying to me. I'm watching her make catfish, and she actually breaded the catfish and then sprayed the top with cooking spray. I don't think that was necessary.

And the Streak Has Ended...

2010-12-17T09:00:00.003-05:00

It was a good run...over a week with no headaches. I felt one coming on the other night, but was able to stave it off. Not so much yesterday, as waking up with a headache doesn't bode well for the rest of the day. I'm sure that crying a bit at the going-away party didn't help (I still blame Jim - I knew I wouldn't be able to contain my tears if I saw his). But I had sincerely hoped that a good night's worth of sleep, which I actually got, would do the trick. No such luck, as I woke up again today feeling like I should rip off the top of my skull and squeezing my right eye shut. It just might be time to look for a second opinion...and maybe get a little more sleep.

When I had dinner with Jaimie and Haiden, we each told our rose and our thorn of the day, and I think I need to remember this habit when talking about my headaches. So, my thorn is my headache. My rose is still managing to laugh despite all of this.

Still Excited...

2010-12-15T15:52:00.002-05:00

Six days in a row without a headache seems amazing. I could feel one coming on last night, but after lying down for a bit and relaxing for the rest of the evening, the feeling went away. I sincerely hope this is the end of it...

In more entertaining news, I looked at the EOBs on line to see how much had been billed to my insurance thus far (and no, not everything has been processed yet...). The total so far: $25,707. To think about what it costs for people with chronic medical problems is staggering. I, thus far, have been one to fly under the radar medically - I would have an occasional illness or a mole removed or what have you, but the cost was never anywhere near what my premiums were. The health insurance companies made a significant amount of money off of me for years, but I seem to be playing a bit of catch-up.

On to more fun things - I'm getting excited for Christmas. I'm not thrilled about my job prospects right now, but I'm sure something will work out as far as that goes. Fa la la la la...

Excited...

2010-12-11T00:12:00.001-05:00

I'm trying not to get too excited, but it's after midnight, which makes this three days in a row with no headaches. There have been very quick, sharp, fleeting pains occasionally (usually when I sneeze), but since it goes away immediately, I don't count them. Here's hoping this trend continues...

The Kid

2010-12-08T01:54:00.002-05:00

Justin, my nephew, also the best thing my brother has ever done for me, is all kinds of fantastic. I was grateful to spend time with him on Thanksgiving this year. We snuggled on the couch, watching the end of Rocky V (by far, the worst one...). Have I mentioned I'm ecstatic that he still likes to snuggle at the age of almost 11? Anyway, the movie panned to the infamous steps in Philly, which prompted Justin to say, "Oh, Auntie Carrie! I know what I keep forgetting to tell you! You know that book you got me at the Liberty Bell Museum when you went to Philadelphia last year? I read it and I really liked it." Could my heart melt any more? It was a children's history book about spies, and I knew he had been enjoying history and social studies in school. I thought it was a bit of a leap at the time, but figured it was worth a shot. It made me feel good that he read the book, of course. But that he remembered it was from Philly, and related it to seeing another representation of Philly made me realize how much he's growing up. Also great was the chat about what he wanted for Christmas. After rattling off a couple of Wii games, he mentioned he also wanted a few books. I called dibs on those - I figure I will keep feeding the book-loving side of him as long as I can...

Scoreboard

2010-12-08T00:22:00.003-05:00

Today: No headache
I think it's day 4 or 5 since early October that I haven't had one. I look at this as significant progress given where I was. The trip to Mexico saw no significant changes to my headache pattern, which was great. I could've gone without the food poisoning, though. But I digress...

The scoreboard for this round of illness:
ER: 2
Family doctor: 2
ENT: 1
Dr. Neurosurgeon: 2
CT Scans: 2
X-ray: 1
MRI: 1 head, 3 spine
Blood word: 2 rounds
Headaches: countless
Support: immeasurable
Amount billed to insurance: tens of thousands...thankful for insurance...

Things are looking up on the health front. I'm anxious to try swimming laps soon, and look forward to seeing the results of the next MRI. Here's hoping for more progress...

Dr. Neurosurgeon Part Deux

2010-11-27T23:04:00.002-05:00

Tuesday saw another visit with Dr. Neurosurgeon. I got in much quicker this time, and the appointment didn't last long at all. So, the CT was normal (for the most part). I get to resume normal activities as tolerated, and have a repeat MRI and another appointment in February.

It all sounds great, and on several levels it is. I have had, officially, two headache-free days. But only two. And the headache I have right now, while not too intense, is aggravating to say the least. And to still have the spasm headaches yesterday made want to cry...not so much in pain, but in sheer and utter frustration. And, as always, crying makes it worse. I can feel my pulse in my brain.

Dr. Neurosurgeon gave me the okay to fly, and Mexico should be relaxing. I've been trying not to think about what might happen. I guess time will tell...

Not My Fault...

2010-11-22T16:46:00.002-05:00

I meandered over to the hospital again today for yet another CT scan (thin slices this time! And the head, orbits and sinuses!) ordered by Dr. Neurosurgeon. So here's the sequence of events:
-Receive order at Dr. Neurosurgeon's office with instructions to schedule the CT appointment then contact the office for them to obtain the insurance approval. Check - received and understood the order!
-Schedule the appointment and cancel the outstanding MRI for my spine (figured I'd keep that one in case Dr. Neurosurgeon ordered another MRI of something...). Give the scheduling office all sorts of information, including the reason for the CT scan (note: foreshadowing). Check!
-Contact the office regarding the insurance approval. Check!
-Make sure the approval is granted - spoke with Dr. Neurosurgeon's office. Check!
-Show up a half hour early for said scan. Check!
-Sit down and talk with the registration employee. Frick!

So here's how the conversation goes:
Me: Good morning (as I hand her my doctor's order for the test, driver's license and insurance card without her asking because I'm that good of a patient). How are you?
Mean Lady: Good morning. You're here for a CT scan of your head?
Me: Yes, ma'am. And orbits and sinuses.
Mean Lady: Okay. And here's your insurance card and your license? And your doctor's order?
Me: Yes.
Mean Lady: (tapping away on her keyboard) And the reason for the CT scan?
Me: I believe it's on the order - they are looking for a CSF leak (falsely assuming her knowledge base).
Mean Lady: Well I don't know what that even means.
Me: They are looking for a leak of spinal fluid.
Mean Lady: (grabs giant book of medical codes and starts flipping furiously) *Mutter Mutter Mutter*
Me: I'm not sure how that's organized, but some search phrases could be cerebral spinal fluid or spinal fluid. The other diagnosis is spontaneous intracranial hypotension.
Mean Lady: Are you sure it's not a leak due to a lumbar puncture?
Me: Yes, I'm sure it's not.
Mean Lady: Well there's no other reason for a spinal fluid leak. I can't believe they didn't write down a number for this reason. See? (thrusting the book at me) There's leaks, and nothing for spinal fluid except for related to a lumbar puncture. What do you see?
Me: *bewildered and furious* Well, my spinal fluid is leaking. Spontaneously. And I haven't had a lumbar puncture. And maybe I'm a little off base here, but I'm guessing if you code it as related to a lumbar puncture, my insurance may not cover it as they haven't paid for me to have a lumbar puncture. And quite frankly, it's not my job to code this for you. I think it's a bit insensitive of you to imply that I have something to do with this. I informed your scheduling department of the reason for the CT when I called in.
Mean Lady: I just get frustrated with the doctor's offices.
Me: Well I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps you could call the referring physician's office for the code. Or maybe you should focus on bringing this issue to the attention of your superiors who can fix your own scheduling and billing processes, as I gave them the information already, and it's fairly redundant to do so multiple times. I think that might be more productive and provide better quality customer service instead of being inconsiderate to patients who are leaking spinal fluid.
Mean Lady: You're right. I'm sorry. (tapping away on the keyboard again) Here's your paperwork. Please take all of this to the X-Ray desk and they will get you right in.
Me: Thank you.

Ugh. I didn't yell. I didn't swear. I didn't slap her upside the head like I wanted to. But I also wasn't going to sit there and let her be cranky to me. I like to think I took one for the team (the team being anyone who goes to that hospital for x-rays or other outpatient services...), and that Mean Lady will realize that maybe she should be nice to patients, but I'm not that much of an optimist, and really I think I maybe ruined her day just a bit like she almost ruined mine.

So, the saga continues. Up next: another trip to see Dr. Neurosurgeon!

Frick.

2010-11-21T20:19:00.001-05:00

Squeezing right eye shut. Headache beginning. So unfair...

Pure Joy!

2010-11-21T17:22:00.003-05:00

Pure joy was having an entire day without a single headache. Not a twinge, not noticing squeezing my right eye shut, not a spasm - nothing. To make matters even better, I was without a good night's sleep, and had an early morning at Justin's swim meet. That kid is just fantastic - every time he hugs me I feel like my heart grows just a bit bigger.

And I managed to make it down to Hamtramck for dinner...we made it to the bakery early enough for me to get my angel wings. The pierogies weren't nearly as good as what Baba used to make, but those along with the potato pancakes and giant chalice of Polish beer made it feel like the holiday season.

Well, Hello Dr. Neurosurgeon...

2010-11-17T22:21:00.002-05:00

And yesterday was the first of at least three impending trips to the neurosurgeon. Mom & Miss joined in the fun, which was good. Always good to have mom and a Ph.D. in comparative medicine at the doctor's visit.

Verdict? Spontaneous Intracranial Hypotension. Yes, I was leaking spinal fluid. No, we're not sure why. And though I'm a fairly concrete thinker, I'll have to accept that this may not be explained. I have another CT scan coming up, with another MRI in a few months to make sure everything has healed, assuming the headaches continue to heal. For now, I'm supposed to be active but not exert myself. Yeesh - talk about walking a tightrope - will have to do the best I can.

Fortunately, the last three days have been better...down to one or two spasm headaches per day, and the dull aching headache isn't starting until evening. I laughed at lunch today...unabashadly...without thinking and without pain. I was giddy afterwards. It really is the little things in life, sometimes, that make a big difference, as cliche as that sounds.

Thoughts...

2010-11-15T15:50:00.002-05:00

Thoughts / dawning revelations I've been having over the past few days:
-I can't believe I have to relearn how to laugh. It's hurt so much to do so, I now feel like a robot when I think something is funny because I can't express it. It's getting better (there's less pain when I laugh), but it's amazing how cruel it is to not be able to laugh...I feel like I've lost a lot of my sparkle.
-Was I really vomiting my own spinal fluid? I'm pretty sure it wasn't mucous / sinus drainage, but if it was CSF, that's just wrong.
-Never been so excited to meet a neurosurgeon.
-Ugh.
-Didn't realize anyone still read this, especially with how little / how sporadic I am with posting. I should've known... Thanks for getting in touch yesterday, Tia. It was more than good to hear your voice. I miss you and I love you.

...And Seconds...

2010-11-14T15:58:00.002-05:00

My second (and technically third and fourth) MRI ever was on Friday. We have moved down the brain to the cervical, thoracic and lumbar regions of the spine. An hour and fifteen minutes spent in a white tube with crazy noises and a very uncomfortable position that wasn't to be altered is not something I should complain about by any stretch - I'm lucky to have access, availability and insurance. But this still sucks, and that's all there is to say. We're in search of some kind of tear in the dura that is allowing a leak of cervical spinal fluid. All I know is that there's a bunch of stuff on the initial MRI report that I wish I had no knowledge of, and I hope that whatever news I get on Tuesday is easier to handle than the diagnostic phase has been so far. I can live without panic attacks and feeling like I am slowly but surely losing my grip on reality and my sanity. I can't imagine how the author of the Permanent Headache blog has gone two years with no answers. I think that would quite literally cause me to go insane.

One-Hit Wonder

2010-11-08T22:14:00.003-05:00

There have been a lot of firsts for me recently...first CT scan, first time on narcotics (dilaudid, vicodin, toradol), first time of not knowing to the extent that it's driving me a little crazy. I've been a caregiver so often over the years, and I don't begrudge those experiences. I've learned a lot and have been forced to deal with things that at times seemed insurmountable. I know I haven't always handled things well, or the best that I could, and I'm okay with that. Sometimes, it seemed all I could do was try to put one foot in front of the other and plod through while hoping for boredom.

I haven't had to have someone take care of me in a long, long time...years and years, really. I find that I don't like it one little bit. A friend suggested that it's a control issue, and I have to admit that it's partially true. I also don't like the idea of having to be a compliant patient at some point. I know I don't do so well with rules...mostly because I don't like them, and prefer to make up my own. Life's more interesting and makes more sense to me that way.

So, today was my first MRI. It was a piece of cake, really...lie down on a table, get moved in to a weird tube, slap some ear plugs in and try not to move. My conversation with the MRI technician was entertaining:
Tech: Okay, we're going to move you out of the machine to give you the injection of the contrast now.
Me: Okay. I'm pretty sure I can't do much about that right now, hey?
Tech: Not so much. So, do you have good veins?
Me: I have great veins if you're any good at finding them.
Tech: Well, this *is* my first time doing this, and I usually can't hit the broad side of a barn...
Me: (as the tech is palpating...) Oh, there's a nice, meaty vein in my right arm that I think you'll like.
Tech: No shit...it's like a garden hose. I don't even think I need the tourniquet. I guess I should wait for one anyway, but I really think I could hit it without...
Me: I like to live dangerously. I think you should go for it.
Tech: It's Monday morning...I should probably wait.

He hit it on the first try, and left only a small bruise. Not too shabby, really. And now it's time to wait for results.

Horse...THEN Cart...

2010-11-02T20:22:00.002-04:00

I was reassured tonight while talking to Mom that everyone has a hard time taking their own well-intended advice. Mine recently to my dear friend to not put the cart before the horse and not freak out until there's something concrete to freak out about are two pieces I should really be taking. But I also know that a very little bit of knowledge can be dangerous at best... So, I say, "Ugh."

Amazon!

2010-09-30T20:12:00.003-04:00

So, I actually ordered something from amazon.com. This is a first - somehow, I've managed to get by without it thus far. However, the pull of haunted house led me to purchase a fountain. I'm excited at the thought of incorporating this in the house:
I mean seriously - it has lights!

The thing that was really interesting to me is that the following appeared in the shipment notification e-mail:

Your order is being shipped and cannot be changed by you or our customer service department.

It just sounds so finite to me. There's absolutely nothing I can do to stop this. If I changed my mind, too bad - there's just no turning back. I'm getting that fountain whether I need / want it or not. Even better - it shipped within a few hours of ordering it. I was a bit surprised at how quick the turn-around time was. Wacky. Anyway, I'm just excited and looking forward to getting this.

My Head

2010-05-06T21:48:00.001-04:00

It's so interesting explaining the picture of the back of my head to people who don't know me...

The Sac Part 3: The Castro and My Tribute to Kirk

2010-05-05T21:53:00.007-04:00

As mentioned before, the trip to The Sac included a day in San Francisco. We couldn't go to SF without checking out The Castro, especially with a gay man in the car with us.

I've had a lot of firsts with Kirk. How can you not when you've been friends with someone since college? I still remember when Kirk came out to me. I was the first of his people to know. I'm still honored and humbled by that distinction, which makes the fact that our friendship has lasted this long through some very difficult times even more significant to me. With at times rocky relationships with family, Kirk spent many holidays with my family while in our early twenties. My parents' house was a home open to all of our friends, especially during college holiday breaks. And Kirk was a frequent guest, though to my mom's dismay, I wasn't as gracious a hostess as she thought she had raised: the first time Kirk came over, I offered him something to drink, and after he accepted the offer, I told him where the pop, glasses and ice were. He's been getting his own drinks at Mom and Dad's ever since. And that was the beginning of Kirk becoming part of my family.

My friend has been such a big part of my life. I remember when, in college, so many in my family were suffering health issues that I often refused to answer the phone. I instead waited to hear the message on the answering machine (yes, in the times before voice mail...), as if ignoring the call and listening to the message would somehow change the reason for the call in the first place. But if Kirk was there in my room, and even when we lived together, he would enable my fear and graciously answer the phone whenever it rang. It may sound silly, but there was some comfort in knowing that he would hear it first - almost as if some of the sting of whatever horrible thing had just happened would be eased ever so slightly. And when it was the phone call that my grandpa died, and I sat in Kirk's arms, sobbing uncontrollably while feeling the most horrible emotional pain I think I have ever experienced, there's really no place that would have been better for me. He's one of my friends for whom I am most grateful.

As he began his journey of self-discovery that night in my apartment when he confessed that deep, dark secret, I had no idea that some fifteen-plus years later that it would still be a significant part of our lives together. I held his hand, hugged him and listened many times over the years as he's encountered various situations, both good and bad, and he has done the same for me. We both recognized the specialness in seeing 'Milk' together. And, during this wonderful trip to The Sac and San Francisco, we shared our first visions of The Castro together. And here are just a few.

A view of the street, with rainbow flags as far as the eye can see. I wish the picture did it justice.

Harvey's - a bar / restaurant in The Castro with much history attached regarding activism in The Castro and San Francisco, and renamed after Harvey Milk.

Gold's Gym in The Castro. Who could resist a picture of the rainbow barbell?

The corner of Castro and Market Streets - near the heart of The Castro.

This Morning...

2010-05-05T13:23:00.002-04:00

This morning I woke up feeling perky and happy. Not artificially, but actually perky and happy. It's been so incredibly long since I've felt this way, I had almost forgotten what it was like. I had almost forgotten it was possible. I had almost lost hope of my old normalcy - of feeling a little spring in my step, a lightness in my heart, and feeling warmth in my spirit. Who knows how long the feeling will last, but I will cherish the hell out of it while I can. Happy Wednesday!

Tales of the Executor Part 1

2010-04-30T15:19:00.002-04:00

As executor of my parents' wills (living and dead) and soon-to-be estate, I have just been granted permission to declare them incompetent when the time comes. What a weird feeling. Granted. I'm ecstatic that they are taking these measures to make our lives easier down the road (assuming I don't beat them to the punch...), and Mom, Dad and I talk about this stuff regularly, but incompetence is a new subject. Well, relatively new. I assume this usurps Mom's request that I take her to the woods up north somewhere, drop her off and leave if she develops Alzheimer's to the point where she's completely out of it. I love my family.

The Sac Part 2: Canada Attacks!

2010-04-28T22:48:00.004-04:00

Beautiful San Francisco is just over an hour ride from the Sac, and we took the opportunity to take a day and do a little adventuring in San Fran. One of D's goal was to ensure we took a boat ride around the Bay. We bought tickets for one of the smaller boats (you know - the kind that lets you carry beer on board and whose captain doesn't mind if you perch on the not-quite-a-seat part in the front of the boat for an unobstructed view of everything), grabbed a few beers at the nearest restaurant, and settled in for a chilly but fun ride.

The boat tour was around an hour, and the hour was fun and relaxing. We had an amazingly clear day - the clearest D has seen in her many visits to city, most all of which include this very boat ride (according to D, it's the best $15 you can spend in San Francisco - I tend to agree). We were able to easily see the Golden Gate Bridge from shore, which is apparently a rarity.

Me and Kirk with the bridge just behind us, and D and Frank shivering just a little - I think their blood thinned noticeably since they moved away from the Michigan tundra!

A copy of this picture will soon be hanging on my living room wall, along with a few others. It's about time to update the wall hangings, and there will be a little Ode to Cali soon. It really was breathtaking and refreshing.

I had to get a picture of this sail boat. First of all, the view of the city is interesting to me - it's very hilly and very congested (not a good place for claustrophobes!). But the boat really caught my eye with the Canadian flag on the sail - who knew Canada would be attacking San Francisco?!?

The Sac Part 1: The Adventures of Sexy Pig

2010-04-28T22:08:00.006-04:00

D and Frank moved to Sacramento (The Sac) back in October, and while I was fortunate to see at least one of them each month through January, the time to plan a trip out to visit rapidly approached. We finally settled on April, and Kirk and I booked our flights. Thinking back, they are some of my best friends of nearly fifteen years. That's fifteen years of memories, stories, adventures, and support for which I am eternally grateful and I was crazy excited to get to spend nearly a week with all of them.

If nothing else, D and I have kitsch in common. The stranger and more odd something is, the more drawn we tend to be to it if just for the comedic value. I still cherish the rainbow inner tube we bought together in South Beach years ago and take it on every camping trip. I still dig around for pictures of the bobblehead we took to Vegas - we photographed that thing everywhere we went (with slot machines, under the beer tap at the Bellagio, on stage at Second City, with a really bad showgirl at the Stratosphere...). D received Sexy Pig in a family White Elephant gift exchange, and while I'm sure everyone else thought it was the worst and most obnoxious gift ever, D fell in love. And when D, Frank and I landed in the Sac and piled into the car and I found Sexy Pig, I knew she'd make it into a few pictures. So, without further ado, here are The Adventures of Sexy Pig!

Sexy Pig made a little trip down to San Francisco. On the way to the Palace of Fine Arts, we missed a turn and ended up on the road to the Golden Gate Bridge inadvertently. Sexy Pig shared the adventure of crossing the bridge twice - the first picture is of the bridge crossing. Kirk was excited to see the Rainbow Tunnel at the end of the bridge, so we were sure to snap a picture of Sexy Pig approaching the tunnel of gay love.

The impetus behind traveling during the weekend we selected was that D and Frank, through no fault of their own, ended up with two extra tickets for a winery tour. Frank was gracious enough to rent a Navigator and a driver, and we proceeded to enjoy the day sipping wine. The first picture is of a scenic view at one of the wineries - there is a barely visible a snow-capped mountain in the background between Sexy Pig's head and the tree. The next picture is of D given a little love to Sexy Pig.

Not only did we enjoy having Sexy Pig around, but she became a bit of a celebrity as we toured the wineries. Ms. New York and Ms. Michigan were rather excited to greet Sexy Pig and were more excited to have their picture taken with her.

I don't know much, but I do know our trip wouldn't have been the same without D's beloved Sexy Pig.

Late Night Thoughts...

2010-04-28T00:35:00.003-04:00

Can a leopard change its spots? I'm beginning to thing maybe not so much.

Huh...

2010-04-12T23:37:00.001-04:00

Who woulda thunk?

Thanks, Officer Friendly!

2010-04-11T18:50:00.002-04:00

Toronto Trip Part Four...or five...I'm so losing count already. I headed to Toronto with Runs With Spatula and Sheryl to meet up with Tia. It's been a while since we've seen Tia, and while it's only for a short visit, it's long overdue to get together and catch up.

Unfortunately, Dianne couldn't join us. We did manage to purchase a chocolate penis and Dutch double-salted black licorice (aka poison, asscandy, pure evil...the list of monikers goes on...) for her. In her honor, I finally tried to eat a piece of licorice. I hate black licorice to start with, but then take black licorice and salt it to the point where you can barely taste the licorice part, and then make it so hard as to not be masticable, and you have something that's virtually impossible to consume. But, I gave it a whirl, which is surprising since the last time I had seen people try to eat this delicacy, I witnessed Tia and Spatula - two people with the most robust constitutions ever - both violently eject said candy from their mouths before it barely had rested on their tongues more than a second. So, I popped one in my mouth with little fanfare, and attempted to eat it. I worked on it for at least two minutes before I spit it out - quite a feat, I believe - which wasn't until I felt my stomach muscles starting to spasm in an all-to-familiar way.

But, I digress. Before we even left Michigan, and while we were passing through St. Claire County, I had the misfortune to be clocked at 83 in a 70. Granted, at the time, Sheryl was reading an article to me from US Weekly (another nod to Dianne) about Britney Spears, which included in the headline "Unstable Britney..." So, I dutifully pulled to the side of the road and began speaking with Officer Friendly:
OF: So, 83 miles per hour?
Me: I know - but my friend was reading this article about Unstable Britney.
OF: I'm surprised you weren't going 90.
Me: No kidding!
OF: You must be pretty popular on the drag race circuit.
Me: Right?
**insert more idle chit-chat about where we were headed, why we were going there, and how much sealed alcohol we were taking with us**
OF: Do you have your license, registration and proof of insurance?
Me: Of course (pulled license from purse and insurance and registration from glove box, secretly thankful that I always get rid of old copies so as to not have to fumble looking at expiration dates...).
OF: Is there anything I should know before I run your license? Any outstanding warrants?
Me: Good god, I hope not!
OF: How's your driving record?
Me: Pretty good - no points, only a few 5-over tickets.
OF: Okay. (returns to vehicle to do whatever it is that cops do when they have your shit)
OF: Okay, before I let you go, I have a bit of trivia for you. Do you know what the left lane is for?
Me: Passing only? Unlike what I was doing?
OF: Exactly. You're free to go - have a safe trip.

So, an officer with a sense of humor who didn't give me a ticket. I have a new-found respect for St. Claire County thanks to Officer Friendly.

The trip was great as usual - Bubba Kegs full of Lambrusco, discovered the wonders of Toronto's mass transit system, and had a blast with my friends. Wish every day could be like that...

Worky work work work....

2010-03-31T15:08:00.001-04:00

Email to Clock, because I knew she'd appreciate this:

So, I just had one of the guys bring a touch-up tube of paint in to me. It's a small tube - about 0.5 oz. It has two applicators - one is a brush (very much like nail polish) and the other is a pen-like top where you press down and the paint comes out. Anyway, the guy brought to me a tube that's labeled silver but has red in it. So, we chatted for a bit and he left, and I decided to grab a stickie note to play a little with the pen-like applicator. So I made some dots on the stickie note and decided I was done and put it down. I glanced back over at the stickie note and noticed I had inadvertently made a very phallic representation with dots of red paint. So, I grabbed the tube of paint and added some more dots to make it one giant blob in case anyone walks or stops by, all the while thinking about Super Bad and the 8%...

Mistaken...Yet Again....

2010-03-28T23:31:00.002-04:00

Funny conversation after hanging out at the bowling alley:

Andy: You're a democrat, aren't you?
Me: No. I'm hippie liberal, but definitely am more libertarian.
Andy: Seriously?!
Me: Yep. I'm way socially liberal. And I'm more about people having choices.
Andy: So what do you think about the helmet law?
Me: My godfather received a kidney transplant. I have pretty strong feelings helmet and seat belt laws. I figure if you are not a minor, you should have the choice. I am all for enforcing that minors or people who cannot legally make decisions for themselves being forced to comply with helmets and seat belts. But if you're an adult and don't want to be safe, who am I to say? And if you're not smart enough to protect yourself...well, there's other people that may benefit from your decision to be unsafe.
Andy: I agree with you. The government shouldn't legislate morality.
Me: I agree. But I also think prostitution and drugs should be legalized and taxed.
Andy: I'm impressed, May.
Me: How so?
Andy: Because you're willing to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

I feel the need to add a little caveat. I do believe in education. Strongly. I think people should be educated so that they understand the choices they are making. But beyond providing the best information possible, there's not much to be done.

I do find it funny how it seems if you're perceived as being socially liberal, it automatically dumps you into the category of being a democrat. I've never been registered as a democrat. I've never pulled a straight ticket while voting. I had a hard time voting for Obama because I didn't think he (and his party) were right in not standing up in support of gay marriage and gay rights in general. There were other reasons, too, but that was the main one.

So, I've decided on a few other issues, too. Pleural marriage - have at it. If some man is crazy enough to want to take on many wives, feel free. I personally think it's ludicrous - why would you want to invite that chaos into your life? I don't foresee many women taking on many husbands. Plus, I'm sure that would mean a new religion would have to form first so that women had some kind of reason to believe they should need or want many husbands. I wonder how hard it would be to start this up just to see what would happen...*wicked, wicked grin*

Back to libertarianism...given that I don't belong to any particular party, this is the one that probably most fits my beliefs. I've had a couple of people argue with me about whether or not it's a conservative philosophy (smaller government, lower taxes, more freedom). But I think the overall concept is quite liberal - the idea that people can and should be responsible for themselves is certainly not conservative. I think at times it gives more credit than is due, but I'd rather run with that than try to save or protect people from themselves (generally, an impossibility - human's level of stubbornness is ridiculous - I know...I'm human).

So, those are my thoughts for today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Thanks for the Encouragement...

2010-02-13T22:24:00.003-05:00

Yet another swim meet today - this one was at OU. The Michigan Open - last chance to qualify for States and / or improve seed times before States. I just love the smell of chlorine.

So, I got to the meet, found Miss and sat down between her and another mom (we'll call her Insensitive Lady, or IL for short) from Justin's team. I got there just as Miss was explaining that Jamie wasn't going to be there today (exhausted and sore from a long day the day before - healing is hard) and the conversation went as such:
Miss: "No, Jamie's not going to be here today. But we have Aunt Carrie!"
IL: "Well, it's certainly not as good as having Dad here."
Me: *trying to hide my irritation* "Sorry?"
IL: "I mean it's nice that you came, but it's just not the same."
Me: "No, I suppose not. I do try to make it to as many of his meets as I can. I always love to watch Justin swim."
IL: "Oh, will you be at the State Meet?" *spoken in a tone to test me to see if I knew when it was*
Me: "I wouldn't miss it, though I'll likely only be there on the 6th and 7th." *take that, Insensitive Lady!*
IL: "Do you have any kids?"
Me: "Nope."
IL: "Are you married?"
Me: "Nope." *now witnessing the look on her face that says we officially have nothing in common*
IL: "Oh. Well. There's still time for you."
Me: No response. Conversation over.

How can one appropriately respond to this without picking a fight? Regardless, a few ideas came about while texting this to Danielle and Tia:
Danielle via text message: "Oh, you have to bitch slap her for that one."
My text back to Danielle: "Next time that happens I'm going to tell them I am a barren widow and they should step off."

There are just so many irritants with that comment. What if I was a lesbian? What if I couldn't have kids for some reason? Why would you assume that your choices in life are the only ones someone would aspire to? Why would you assume that the only way to feel complete is to have a husband and children? When's the last time you jetted for the weekend without having to tell anyone where you were going, how long you'd be gone, or feeling like you needed to prepare everything for your family so that they could survive a couple of days without you?

A short while later, I noticed that embroidered on her tote bag was "Women of Faith." I could only think to myself, "Well, there's still time for you, too!"

Barnes & Noble

2010-01-18T18:51:00.003-05:00

Haven't been in a while, so I stopped in today after lunch with Bridget (gotta love an extra day off!). I picked up Florence + The Machine (craving Kiss With a Fist) and think that may end up in heavy rotation in the car. I think this is the year I continue with the trend of reading biographies / autobiographies, so I grabbed two. "The Pact" is about three guys from inner-city Newark who decide to beat the odds and become doctors, and "My First Five Husbands...and the Ones Who Got Away" by Rue McClanahan. What the guy who cashed me out must think... I think this is worse than when I bought "The Diary of Anne Frank," "Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News With Baby Animals" and a Flogging Molly cd.

Why I Love Mom...

2010-01-18T18:45:00.002-05:00

Email from Mom on New Year's Day...no wonder where I get this personality from...

Hi,

Just wanted you to know that we got bad pizza from Jets tonight. I have a piece of the pizza we originally got in the refrigerator. We returned the rest when they brought us a second pizza. The second pizza smelled bad so we didn't even taste it, just put it in the garage. I called Jets back after the second bad pizza and of course no one else has complained. I spoke to Candace who said she is the owner's daughter on the second call. I also sent an email to their customer service on their web site.

Nancy was here too and had some of the bad pizza. If we die or become incoherent, you know what's going on.

Love,

Mom

Amazing...

2010-01-17T23:32:00.003-05:00

...how a few small steps can be so incredible and significant.
...how three short months can seem so incredibly long.
...how I'm reminded constantly how determined and stubborn he really is.
...how that determination and stubbornness have seen him through this far this fast.

It's amazing that everyone's acceptance of a horrible incident comes at such varying stages. Limitations I accepted when it first happened are ideas that others wouldn't consider. But their belief that everything would be just fine is one of the few things that allowed them to get through the first giant phase of hard parts. It got them up the first hill only to be left staring up at a mountain.

How do you recover from every limb in your body being broken except one? How are you able to soldier on with hardly ever questioning why this happened? How do you accept that you'll probably never be able to do certain things with your son when those things are such a huge part of your relationship with him? How do you stay strong for everyone? So many questions I'll probably never ask him because I already know the answer is the same to each one, and it's so ingrained in who we are and how we've been raised. You just do.

Congratulations on the most recent milestone. There're many, many more to come.

Yikes!

2009-10-07T21:31:00.003-04:00

Hmmm...it's been almost two months since I've been on here. I'm becoming like the people I pester about how they don't blog enough. Man, it sucks when that comes full circle and smacks you upside the head.

On a brighter note, I was inspired to actually blog today after a trip to the post office. So, I've ranted about the post office before. Justifiably so. This time, I was shocked and amazed at the level of customer service. The super nice lady with white-blond hair at the downtown Lansing branch rocked the house today. I went in to ship a care package to S, in Philly working on becoming a PA (miss you, by the way!!). Not only was Ms. White-Blond super friendly, but when I told her I was shipping homemade caramel-chocolate-nut brownies (which by the way, are neither hazardous nor a liquid, which is how the question came up...), which are affectionately known as Goo and Les Goux depending on which circle I'm running in, she complimented me on having friends so wonderful that I would take the time to ship a care package. She then asked if I had friends on the west coast ("Not yet, but one of my other best friends is moving to Sacramento tomorrow, and I plan on sending care packages to them, too!") and took the time to explain the flat-rate priority mail gig and give me several boxes to take home so that I would have them there, ready to go, for the next batch of Goo to be shipped. Ahhh. Such a refreshing experience at the one place that usually lets me down.

Rock on, Ms. White-Blond at the downtown Lansing post office! You made my day!

Red Flag My Ass!

2009-08-16T20:08:00.003-04:00

My folks were passing through Lansing today on their way to Soaring Eagle, and as is usual, they stopped in town for a meal. I suggested Soup to Nutz in Lansing, as the brunch is usually really good and the atmosphere is comfortable. Sheryl, Mike, Runs with Spatula and Corky joined in, as they have gotten to know Rose and Hal over the last few years. After enjoying a good brunch and some amusing conversation (note to self: explore the idea of a website where you get to suggest people you think may be the Missing Link between neanderthals and modern man...), we headed out. Everyone had missions or errands except me and Sheryl, I discovered. So, I proposed a trip to Lake Michigan. In true Sheryl fashion, she was up for the adventure.

The trip to Grand Haven State Park was uneventful. We found a parking spot quickly and close to the beach, which we found out was quite the stroke of luck. We walked up toward the beach, and read the sign declaring the conditions for the day: water temperature was 73 degrees (yahoo!) and the swimming conditions were considered red. Red? Reading further: green meant swimming was safe, yellow meant to take caution, and red meant no swimming. No swimming? To drive almost two hours to such a beautiful lake and not swim?!? Sheryl and I looked out toward the water at throngs of people playing in the waves, looked at each other, and said, "Fuck it!" We headed down, and found a great spot where a family was leaving for the day, putting us in what can only be described as the front row of the beach. We set our stuff up (a ridiculous amount for two people, really), and headed into the water.

We quickly discovered the red flag was due to nearly three-foot waves crashing in. So, we made our way out fairly far and started jumping! Waves kept crashing into us, and we kept jumping into them. There's nothing quite like being slammed in the chest by a white-capped wave - it just makes me laugh, and I get that feeling of being a kid again. Sheryl's fascination of being in the water easily matches my own, and we spent the next two hours chatting, swallowing water, laughing and people watching - not a care in the world and no inclination to go home. We even got to enjoy a little rain shower while playing in the waves! We finally headed to shore and discovered that being out where we were wasn't nearly the workout that people were getting by being closer to shore. It took forever to walk up to the beach with the waves breaking all around. The rain picked up quite a bit, and we decided to call it a day and head back home. We decided to stop for a quick bite to each before hitting the expressway, and swung into Butch's Beach Burritos near the beach. It was an interesting place, serving burritos, tacos and hot dogs. For some reason, though the food wasn't fantastic, it certainly hit the spot. We continued home, and while I have the barest sunburn on my chest and sand caked in my toenails and clumpy, sandy hair, I wouldn't have traded the day for anything.

Why?

2009-08-15T02:22:00.002-04:00

I've had a few conversations lately about technology - blogging, twittering / tweeting, social networking sites - that have given me a chance to think about why I blog. I started a little over a year ago as a way to keep track of what I was doing and thinking. I thought it might be interesting to revisit and have a sort of living history of myself. I know I could just as easily write in a journal, but typing is so much easier. And having this hanging out in the blogosphere means that I should always be able to find it, and it's not likely to end up being damaged. The central point I keep coming back to is that I do this for myself. I understand that it gives people the opportunity to know more about me and my experiences, which is a bonus. But really, if nobody ever read this thing, I would keep up with it.

And here's why... My uncle died a little over a year ago. July 21, to be exact. I wrote an entry the next evening. I just revisited that entry tonight. I have been avoiding it since the anniversary of his death, knowing it would likely stir up a lot of emotions. And it did. So, again with tears streaming down my face, but without the whiskey (for now...), I sit here reflecting about why I do what I do, and how I miss my family that have died. I remember visiting my grandma and grandpa's graves once. It took a good three years before I would do it, and I haven't been back. They died in 1996. It's not a lack of respect I don't think. I miss them, and I think about them often. I have awesome and abundant memories of them, as growing up having them in the same town allowed so much interaction. But I have never found comfort at the cemetery. Oddly, I found a great deal of comfort reading that old blog post this evening. So apparently there's more than one reason I blog...

More Travels: Sights and Sounds in WV

2009-08-15T00:37:00.006-04:00

My Memorial weekend was a little bit different this year. I headed down to Oak Hill, West Virginia for a bit of camping and whitewater rafting. I drove down with Angela, which was an adventure in and of itself. I'm an habitual over-packer when it comes to camping, and while it's a problem I've been working on for some time, I'm not quite where I'd like to be. So, we started off the first morning cramming more stuff into my Equinox than theoretically should have fit, complete with attempting to hold stuff from falling out of the car while attempting to slam the door in the nick of time. We finally hit the road and had a great drive down - thanks to Angela's fine navigation skills, we managed to stop at Sonic near Columbus for lunch. It was my first Sonic experience, and it makes me really wish we had one here. There's just something about tater tots that I can't resist... We made it safely to Oak Hill despite the incredible winding roads through the mountains. I was glad to have driven knowing I would have been horribly carsick otherwise!

We took a little excursion to drive to a waterfall that Mike had visited on a previous trip. The waterfall played into my obsession with all things water, and I took a chance to play with my camera's settings, messing around with apertures, shutter speeds, lighting and angles. Next time, I should remember to bring the User's Manual. I still haven't corrected the settings completely!

The waterfall and a picture of my favorite rock.

I think this is the camping trip where I cooked the least. All meals were provided on the day we rafted, and we decided to check out Mike's recommendations for some of the best barbecue ever at Dirty Ernie's. The food at Ernie's was incredible - Mike wasn't lying! The ribs fell off the bones, and Angela and Eric had both ordered a sweet potato on the side that came with the most amazing spiced butter ever. The atmosphere was fun and interesting, with dollar bills decorated graffiti-style stapled to the wall (yep - we left one there, too!) and t-shirts and flags from all over the country hanging with pride. I was pleased to see a shirt from my Alma Mater made it down there - nothing like a little Wayne State Pride in rural West Virginia!

Go Warriors, formerly known as the Tartars! The Angelas (left, my driving buddy) at Dirty Ernie's.

We also couldn't resist breakfast at Biscuit World! Angela and I passed one and almost stopped then and there, foolishly under the assumption that it was a one-time chance to enter an entire world of biscuits. To our surprise, it's quite the chain! There was one near the town where we were staying, and we ventured there to see just how good it was, and were not disappointed in the least.

Mmmm...biscuits and sausage gravy - all kinds of fantastic!

We had a blast at the Red Dog River Saloon. How convenient to have a saloon at base camp! The rafting trip included two tokens for beer at the saloon, which was where we got to watch the rafting video. Angela and I wandered up there one of the nights to see what was going on, and ended up chatting up the waitress and doing some serious people watching, whilst listening to a pretty decent cover band. We watched an incredibly inebriated lady for quite a while. She was the topic of conversation to be sure, and I'm surprised she didn't fall down the side of the mountain (which is actually a concern there!). We also played pool with Duane Cochrane. No, you shouldn't know who he is. But that's just how folks in the south introduce themselves apparently - first and last name. I wouldn't think it would be a big deal, but the fact that it stuck out to me like a sore thumb made me realize how much more casual we are north of the Mason-Dixon.

The crew with our guide, Eric, and the giant cock and one of the Angelas riding said giant cock...

Angela refraining from motor-boating the mermaid.

Feelin' the Love...

2009-08-14T02:21:00.003-04:00

I took a mental health day away from work the other day. During an extended six-week shutdown at the plant, I was contractually unable to take any vacation time, which meant missing my usual week off in July. It's not as if I've never gone six weeks without a vacation day. I do that regularly. But the fact that I couldn't take a day off, and didn't get my usual time off during July made the six weeks seem excruciatingly long. So, the plant started back up on Monday with little fanfare, but with a lot of people happy to see each other. I woke up on Tuesday and just couldn't quite motivate myself to go into work, so I called in healthy and took a day to just relax. And it was a fantastic day - a few loads of laundry, lunch out, CSA pickup, swimming, a visit from Sheryl and a great dinner (pork with pineapple-basil-jalapeno salsa) drastically improved my mood.

I went back to work on Wednesday and found these precious love notes on my monitor:

They read:
"Hey - What's the matter w/you - don't you like us no more? You are missed by somebody."
"Hi Sweetie, Stopped by to give you some LIP."
"Really- I just need a a pen. Thanks."

I know who they are from, and I was not the least bit surprised. Amused, yes. The discussion about my love notes was quickly followed by me being chastised by Dirt Dave. Apparently, going forward, I need to let him and our buddy, Tom, know that I'm not going to be at work so that it's not such a startling adjustment for them. They apparently kept looking at each other, commenting, "It's just weird without her here!" Sometimes I just love being the only woman in a office with a bunch of men...

Toronto...Part Deux

2009-08-10T22:16:00.006-04:00

June saw another trip to Toronto. This time, Spatula and I took off on a Thursday after work to head to the great province of Ontario. It was an eventful trip as always, complete with Michael Jackson stealing Farrah Fawcett's thunder (one text and one phone call before we hit Port Huron - thanks Corky and Kirk!), Bubba Kegs of Lambrusco, too many characters to mention, awesome food and even better company.

What made the trip really special was that it happened to fall during Toronto's Gay Pride Week. We had no idea when we booked the trip, and were amused at the prospect of the sights and sounds of Pride. Note to self: going to Toronto during Pride with one of your girls automatically means you must be a lesbian, especially if you prefer comfortable shoes like I do (I'd rather have my feet look cute out of my shoes than me feet look cute in my shoes, if you know what I mean - no hammer toes for this girl!) or have a spikey bob like Spatula (even though to me it's not the least bit lesbiany). After a gentleman from Indianapolis tried for what seemed like a half hour to get us to admit that we batted for the other team while at a pizza joint at one in the morning since the crepe place was closed, I finally told him I like dick just as much as he did. He seemed to have a new-found respect for us after that! We did stick around to witness some of the parade on Sunday, and I thought it was much tamer than I anticipated. It was interesting to see all of the crazy niches (Ugandans seeking equal rights for queers, as the sign read... and the transgendered Asian women were favorites). Strange I've been to more Pride festivals than my gay best friend...

There's Pride - painted bikini to match the hair! And kids at the parade - they were fun to watch!

Ugandans - Global Human Rights for Queers! And the Black Pride float!

Tia met up with us Friday night after her drive in from New York. It's always great to see her and talk to her because it always feels like no time has passed at all. Those are some of the best friendships to have. We also met up with Sally and Kandi, who weren't quite as into the Pride festivities as we were, but were more than willing to explore the city with us. Tia, Spatula and I spent quite a bit of time at the St. Lawrence Market, where we overdosed on fried calamari (and presumably the liter of Lambrusco we split in our Bubba Kegs on the way to the market at 1 in the afternoon...), and where I had a flashback of my childhood as I stopped at the Ukrainian eatery and market and was harassed by the short Ukrainian woman, who reminded me entirely too much of my family, into buying more than I intended simply because she kept telling me what a deal she was giving me. Ukrainian women are pushy (have you met me??), and I felt like I would offend her if I said no, but I finally did. The food was all kinds of fantastic (eclairs with god knows how much shortening and fantastic apple strudel-like pastries), though, and a welcome treat after a long night of a whole lot of Carling.

Spatula with her Bubba Keg... Tia - ready for adventure... Me with Bubba Keg at the Hutch angle

Highlights of the weekend? One of my favorites was Spatula being given jewelry that looked like it fell off a truck headed to Claire's by a homeless man while standing in the open-air part of the bar, glimpsing raccoons running up a flight of stairs in downtown Toronto while at the same bar, Tia and Spatula violently ejecting a piece of salty Dutch licorice purchased for D from their mouths (I've never seen them spit food out ever!), and a hysterical cab ride back to the "gayborhood" as our hotel was called, which we shared with a guy we met at the bar who had us laughing to the point of tears running down our faces. I can't wait until the next adventure!

Spatula's new necklace... Mung beans made me think of Sheryl... Spatula's new earrings

WTF Part II

2009-07-30T07:11:00.003-04:00

Runs With Spatula informed the Facebook world that her fabulous blog was somehow posted on "Net Right Nation, The Net Right's Blogging HQ: Your Unique Portal to the Conservative Blogosphere." I giggled quietly to myself, as Spatula, while she doesn't blog often about politics, certainly doesn't fall to the right on the political spectrum. I scrolled down a bit and read the comments under Spatula's status update, and found that my blog made it there, too. Seriously? Have they read my blog, oh say...ever?? I wonder if it would be rude to ask them to remove my blog from their blog list...
**Just to have a little fun, I think I will actually add some labels to this post!!

Note to Teachers, Counselors, etc...

2009-07-22T18:46:00.002-04:00

Dear Teachers, Counselors and Other People With Direct Care / Contact With Children:

Please stop fucking the children.

No, really. Just stop.

I found myself involved in a conversation this weekend about teacher-student relationships in the general sense, and specifically about said relationships developing into sexual ones. It was a conversation that had me thinking for a while after. And on Monday, I stumbled upon an article about a counselor at a home for children who had a sexual relationship with one of the children she was in care of. This prompted me to do a quick search of "teacher sex with student" on MLive, which produced over a thousand results. Ick.

My stance is simple: if you're the adult and the one in a position of authority, real or perceived, it's incumbent upon you to maintain a proper distance with the child. Maybe it's my background in auditing that has so strongly enforced the concept of remaining objective both in appearance and in fact that causes me to have such a strong reaction to situations like these. Or maybe it's because I have a nephew and I can't comprehend of a person of authority taking advantage of him. The thought makes me sick. I can't comprehend, as an adult, looking at a child as an object of sexual interest. I can barely comprehend dating someone under 30 at this point.

I don't care if your home life is terrible. I don't care if your spouse ignores you, or if you were abused as a child. I don't care if the kid made the first move. I don't care about any rationale you put forth about having an intimate / sexual relationship with a child (yep, to me that means someone under the age of consent or someone with whom you have a fiduciary responsibility to ensure his or her safety and security, both physical and emotional). Children are children and you should not have inappropriate relationships with them. Resolve your shit on your own. Don't involve innocent children. It screws them up, regardless of what anyone else says.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation,
Carrie

PS - No, I never had an inappropriate relationship with a teacher. Thankfully.

WTF?

2009-07-01T21:46:00.001-04:00

Is it really that hard to understand that if you are on the inside lane of two lanes turning right, you should stay in the inside lane instead of immediately "merging" into the left turn lane (which means cutting across two lanes of traffic)? Just wondering...

Thankful

2009-06-29T00:18:00.002-04:00

I just got back from three ridiculously fun nights and four crazy days in Toronto. There's certainly more blogging to come, but I know if I don't get this one down, I might just forget. And, quite frankly, it deserves its own post.
I had a blast with Tia and Runs With Spatula and Sally and Kandi. My favorite quote was from Tia. Within ten minutes of seeing her, she commented, "You really dodged a bullet with that one!" It took no time at all to know what she meant, and she's definitely right (she's the good moral compass, I'm the good directional compass - everyone has a role!). I just appreciate having friends who will actually point that stuff out to me, particularly because I know it means I can reciprocate. Much love to you, Tia!

Disney Cruise - March 2009

2009-06-21T01:45:00.007-04:00

So, I never thought I would go on a Disney cruise. I believe the last time I visited Disney World was pre-Epcot. I believe it was under construction at the time. Regardless, it's been at least 25 years. I'm not a huge Disney fan by any stretch. In terms of movies, I love Beauty and the Beast and Sleeping Beauty. I know I enjoyed visiting Disney World as a kid. As an adult, I have little patience for standing in line, and I truly believe the happiest place on earth should not cost a small fortune to attend. And the fact that they do not have employees, but instead cast members, is just creepy to me. However, when my friend Jackie called and said she could book us on a Disney cruise with her cast member discount, I couldn't say no. How could I pass up a 7-night cruise for $550?

Me and Jackie tasting wine

I flew down to Orlando the day before the ship was set to sail so to speak, with my friend Brian. He and Jackie went to high school together, and as fate would have it, we all worked for contractors at GM. Jackie and KK picked us up at the airport, we headed out to dinner, and back to Jackie and Melanie's apartment. We woke up early the next morning and were off to the port - six of us in all.

The cruise was magnificent. The service was flawless, and much better than the other cruise line I vacationed on before, which was still very good. We had the same servers at our meals the entire time with the exception of the night we went to Palo, the restaurant on the top deck. Paula and Jonathan were fantastic. Jonathan brought us our favorite banana bread every night, and also provided some brain teasers and dirty jokes at the end of our meals. Paula even got a little teary on our last night. They told us a lot about the ship and the crew, noting that most crew members had worked on the Disney line for at least five years. I found that amazing.

KK, Paula, me, Jonathan, John, Brian, Melanie and Jackie

We had stops in Key West, Cozumel, Grand Cayman and Castaway Cay, Disney's island. Key West was a walking adventure, from the sculpture garden near the port to the southernmost point in the US. We made our way through the downtown section to the southernmost point and back again.

The southernmost point - "One Human Family" mosaic - I couldn't agree more!

The sculpture garden was incredible, both in scale and subject matter.

Grand Cayman was gorgeous, a little overcast and rainy, and then just plain hot! We enjoyed time on the beach and in the water there, and had a very relaxing afternoon. I took advantage of an excursion in Cozumel, which had me boarding a bus upon reaching the port. I was whisked away to a resort where I took a cooking class. We made tortillas with a chorizo and potato topping, grouper baked in banana leaves, and rice pudding sandwiched between cookies with a raspberry coulis. I wandered around the shops at the resort, and found a few interesting things, but only bought t-shirts for Justin and Dad (my obligatory gifts for them while on vacation).

One of my finds in Cozumel. Nothing says art like fornicating animals.

Another find in Cozumel. Maybe nothing says art like a marble penis?

Castaway Cay was a wonderful stop. It is Disney's island, and is beautiful. After walking past the family beach area and through the shops, we boarded a tram that took us to a pristine adults-only beach. Lunch was a fantastic barbecue, and the adults-only beach also had its own barbecue. I floated out quite far on an inner tube, chatted with a lifeguard who jet-skied by to make sure I was okay (oops!), and found many, many starfish on my way back into shore. The water was incredible - warm, crystal clear, and virtually colorless.

This shot was taken from the ship, and is of the pirate ship with Castaway Cay in the background.

Days at sea were equally fun. We spent a fair amount of time in the adults-only pool and hot tubs. The waitstaff was great - there's nothing like a Mai Tai delivered to you as you lounge by a pool on a giant cruise ship. It's so my style to be in water while on water. One day saw me and Brian partake in Martini tasting, confirming that a "true" martini is not something I would drink again. Bring on the girlie-tinis, though! Another day at sea offered a tour of the galley (a dream come true!), a beer tasting and a wine tasting. I took advantage of the spa and enjoyed a pedicure, too.

The ship's pastry chef. He spent an extra twenty minutes talking to me and another passenger after the tour.

The wine tasting setup. The Malbec was fantastic - enough so that I ordered it with dinner that night.

Despite not being a huge Disney fan, I knew I would find myself face to face with the characters, and knew I would be photographed with said characters. It really is bizarre to see Goofy running around the ship. There was a Characters Breakfast where all of the characters attend and visit each table so that passengers can get pictures with them. It's a brilliant piece of one-stop shopping, as in the evenings, there is a schedule of the characters' photo opportunities (which again involves waiting in line). Even better is that the schedule specifies what type of costume the characters will be in. Again, a bit creepy. I didn't pursue pictures with the characters outside of the breakfast experience. The characters always remind me of a show on MTV. I originally thought it was on True Life, but it's actually Sex2K. There was an episode about people whose sexual fetish involves dressing up in animal costumes, and they are known as Furries or Plushies. I saw this several years ago, and to this day, any time I see an animal mascot, I think of this show. So, when I saw Chip & Dale dressed up as sailors at the Character Breakfast, I could just picture them getting it on in some weird, secret room in the bowels (no pun intended) of the ship. Ick.

Me and Brian with Goofy.

There were many things that cracked me up on the ship. One of them was the Fantasia hat that was located in the kiddie pool area. The first time Brian and I saw the Fantasia hat, there was a little boy with his cheek resting on the top of it while water was spurting out of the top. I almost lost it - that hat falls in line with Disney's reputed phallic images, and to see a little boy with his face near the gushing water was almost too much for me. So, on our last night on the ship, when Brian and John and I saw that the pool had been drained, I had to get a picture with the image that almost made me cry. The angle doesn't quite do the image justice, but I'm sure you'll get the idea.

Me with the phallic spurting hat.

All in all, it was a wonderful vacation - great time to catch up with old friends, and an opportunity to make new ones. I would definitely go on another Disney cruise, and while Jackie has one lined up for September, I think I'll have to wait until next year.

Jimbo!

2009-06-21T00:45:00.003-04:00

Another fun time with Corky and Runs With Spatula! We traveled to Grand Rapids to take in a little San Chez and a lot of The Reverend Horton Heat. Dinner was great - it always makes me wish we had a decent tapas restaurant in Lansing. One of the highlights from dinner was the scallops and bacon skewer with mango chutney. The scallops were perfectly cooked - tender as could be. The bacon is made on site at San Chez (yes, we asked - the pork bellies still have the nipples on them when they receive them!), and with the skewer, is cut into roughly 1.5 inch cubes. There's just nothing better than fat-back bacon! The other highlight for me was dessert. I ordered the chocolate empanadas with dulce de leche ice cream. It was the perfect type of chocolate, as it was rich and almost dark but not bitter. The ice cream was amazing. And I'm sure the pitcher of sangria that Runs With Spatula and I shared didn't hurt, either.
After that, we were off to the Intersection. It's a great venue for the type of show we saw. We were able to snag a few tables as we had some other friends meeting up with us. The first band, Hoots and Hellmouth hailing from Philly, was fantastic. Three guitars, two of which were acoustic, and an upright bass completed the ensemble. What was amazing is that the three guitarists were standing on drum pads. Or rather, they were stomping on the drum pads to provide percussion, all the while playing guitar and singing. They had an incredible sound that's hard to describe. It was almost a mix of bluegrass, rockabilly, and blues with am Americana roots feel to it. We chatted with two of the band members after the show, and Corky bonded with them being that he's from PA as well. We talked about Tasty Cakes and PA lingo (yous guys). I ordered their cds online, and can't wait for them to arrive. I'm even more exicted that they will be playing The Ark in Ann Arbor in September. I'm hoping to drag along some more friends to that show.
After Runs With Spatula got her picture taken with the really cool merch guy after the show, she asked me if I wanted to sit at the bar for another beer. Given that Corky was our DD that night (as with many nights...), we plunked ourselves down at the bar near the lobby and soaked in the local band playing on the mini stage there. Soon we heard the singer say, "Oh my god...it's Jimbo!" Our heads snapped around to see Jimbo Wallace, upright bass player for The Rev, working the crowd a bit. Runs With Spatula and I looked at each other, decided we had to get a picture with Jimbo, and patiently waited until the rest of the riff-raff moved along so that we could claim some time with him. If you've never seen Jimbo play, it's amazing. How often do you get to see a cute greaser throw a bass into the air and catch it? Crazy. He shook our hands, gave us hugs (I got two!), let Corky take a few pictures, and he even kissed me on my cheek. For some reason, I decided to wash my cheek even though I really didn't want to. I'm still riding the Jimbo high - just the mention of his name snaps me out of a bad mood, which has been convenient for my co-workers. It was a crazy fun night, and I can't wait for the next concert extravaganza!

Ephiphany

2009-06-21T00:28:00.002-04:00

I had an epiphany recently. I've always been attracted to intelligent men. Really intelligent men. Guys who read physics books for fun, who can speak in computer code...god forbid if they love math, I'm diggin' on them. What I realized is that while I find intelligent men appealing, I'm really looking for someone who is smart. It is a subtle difference, but I am now realizing how important a difference that is. I haven't found that guy quite yet, but I'm shifting my focus a bit.
Intelligence is great, but I find it a bit boring after a while. It's as if the guys I've dated who fall into that category are so focused on fields of study or profession that they don't have as much a sense of adventure, or at least not one that's suited to mine.
I think the other common denominator is a lack of good friends or a support network. I've never been a loner, and I don't relate well to them. I always prefer to be on the go, spending time with friends and family, or meeting new people and having new experiences. I seem to end up with (or choose, more appropriately) people who don't have a very active social life, and I can't handle the thought of being their sole source of entertainment or social director, or worse, their sole source of emotional support. Now, finding someone who will work with me to make schedules mesh will be a challenge, but I think it's one I'm willing to take on at some point.

Father Cutie

2009-05-10T23:03:00.002-04:00

So, Father Alberto Cutie was caught frolicking on a beach with *gasp!* a woman. Yep, Father Cutie, a Catholic priest, photographed canoodling with a woman. The archdiocese immediately relieved him of his duties at his church. Interesting - I could've sworn they would usher him off to a different congregation in a different town like they did with the priests who were caught molesting innocent children. But no, they instead take his duties away for carrying on with a consenting adult. I don't understand how the punishment for breaking one's vows can vary so wildly. Perhaps it's because the object of Father Cuties affection is a divorced woman?? Certainly we all know how the Catholic church feels about divorce... He, of course, would like to have his cake and eat it, too - he wants to remain a priest until he dies, and wants to stay in this relationship. Who can blame him?

But could the church's requirements be more backward? So often, people are told to seek the counsel of their priest when in times of crisis. Could a priest who has benefited from being married and / or having children be better equipped to assist parishioners with marital / family / relationship issues? And what's so bloody awful about progressing forward and adapting to the changing world to serve your parishioners (and ambassadors / employees, for that matter) instead of trying to fit them back into archaic molds of behavior and so-called morality?

So many years of Catholicism... I wonder if the recovery will ever be complete, or if, like so many struggles, it will remain a constant, always in need of attention? No, by the way, it wasn't all bad. There were a lot of benefits to being raised "in the church," but I believe most of those benefits would've existed regardless - time with family, time with friends, reinforced moral code - I've had a lot of positive influences in my life, and church served as a location for some of those influences to congregate. I still like to think that without church, there would have been some other avenue for that to happen.

Adopt a Highway

2009-04-28T23:35:00.002-04:00

I participated in Adopt A Highway on Monday on a stretch of I-69 adopted by GM. It was the first time I participated in this, and I dare say, I hope it's the last. I'm all about volunteering, but this is the bottom of the barrel for me. First, standing not so far from an expressway where semi-trucks are flying by at 70+ miles an hour hardly seems safe. Second, the layers of latex gloves and work gloves made my hands sweat in a way I thought was not possible (and really, it shouldn't be possible). Third, the volume of vile and disgusting trash collected was ridiculous. Fourth, I really felt I should have had a Tetanus booster before this because of the number of sharp and / or rusty objects I "found." I would much rather work on a project to educate people on why they should not litter in the first place. Can I tell you how long it took to de-tangle my hair? It's not something I complain about normally, but I honestly could have had dreadlocks by the next day had I not taken care of it. Ugh. Other than that, it was great to spend the morning outside. I just wish it hadn't been spent picking up other people's trash.

Waterboarding!

2009-04-21T23:19:00.002-04:00

So I read this little article about waterboarding terrorists. I don't really condone terrorism, nor do I condone torture. And yes, I have been asked how, without coercion and torture, does one expect to gather information from suspected terrorists? I don't know. That's why I am a chemical manager and not an high-ranking military or government leader. I do think it would be intriguing if said leaders had to withstand the techniques inflicted on suspects when evaluating whether or not something is torturous enough to be illegal. Perhaps W or Cheney should've been waterboarded 183 times while being questioned. I would be curious what they might admit to...

The World of Online Dating II: Missing Chromosomes

2009-04-19T22:24:00.003-04:00

Yes, the title of this post is judgmental of me. But I believe I'm spot-on on this one. Sue me - I'm pretty sure I have a strong case.

"Single male who's never dated seeking single white female for fun dates and more.She must be young,attractive,fun,and have big breasts. She must be caring,kind and very affectionate and a bit of a flirt.She must be romantic,passsionate and into pleasing her partner."

There are so many things wrong with this, it's almost impossible to begin analyzing. I believe this would fall into Colleen's classifications of "creepies and crazies." Punctuation and grammar aside (which is hard to do), I can see why this particular person has never dated at the tender age of 34. I'm no expert by any means, still hanging in the single-not-willing-to-settle category, but seriously? Try some cogent sentences, and try not being such an ass and you just might hook up!

Easter Egg Hunt!

2009-04-17T19:39:00.004-04:00

Before the hunt - the 7 & up age group and Runs with Spatula and Corky in the midst of the 4 - 6 age group, waiting to take pictures. Note that they are carefully stationed by a tree for safety. It gets nuts in there!

Well, I ended up chairing the Lansing Jaycees Annual Easter Egg Hunt on the Capitol Lawn. Unintentionally. It just didn't seem like anyone else was going to take it on at the first committee meeting. (Note to self: skip the first meeting next year.) This was my third year in a row chairing the event. I have a huge soft spot for this, as this is the first project I ever ran, and I feel it's gotten better each year. This year, with much thanks to a great committee and incredible weather, the project was a huge success. Jim, the gentleman at the Capitol who works maintenance for us for the event, estimated 800-plus people were there, and commented that it was the best-attended he's seen. And on a more personal note, he told me that he's always impressed with how well organized the group is.

And best yet, after several discussions and a little guilt trip on my brother, Jamie, that included me pointing out that I really don't ask him for much at all, which resulted in my brother guilting my nephew, Justin, he brought Justin up to Lansing for the event. Justin had declared to my brother and mom that he didn't like Easter Egg Hunts a week before the event. I knew that at nine years of age he was on the ragged edge of enjoying it, and they weren't able to make it up for the last two due to the blizzards, but I really wanted him to see the craziness that his ol' Auntie Carrie immerses in. I'm certain he got a speech that went a little like this: "Your Auntie Carrie goes to a lot of your swim meets and does a lot of nice stuff for you. She really wants you there. And I think you should do this for your Auntie Carrie." Nice parenting, Jamie! Justin did humor me a great deal. And he did enjoy himself - bonus! Jamie and Justin both seemed shocked at the sheer number of people there. I was excited to have my brother and nephew meet so many of my Lansing friends. And to top it off, my dear friend Kirk and his cousin Bridget also joined us to help out.

Me in my ears with Justin, and Justin with Click-It the Cricket (aka Angela), Jamie and Kirk.

And I know Justin appreciated me bringing the bunny head to Mom & Dad's house for Easter brunch. My godfather died a few years ago, and we remain very close with his family - Donna, his wife, Courtney and Matt, his daughter and son-in-law, and John, their two year-old son. They have spent Easter with us the past two years. Justin put the bunny head on for when little John arrived. What cracked me up the most was when he said to John, "Did I bring you everything you wanted?" while in the bunny head and his AC/DC t-shirt. Just gotta love that kid!

Justin rockin' out the bunny head and Mom and Nancy with some Easter cheer.

Today

2009-04-17T19:36:00.001-04:00

I wore a short-sleeved shirt and no jacket as I walked into work this morning. For some reason, it struck me how refreshing it was to feel the cool wind against my bare arms. Life doesn't get better than this kind of Michigan day.

It's Been a While...

2009-03-29T00:08:00.002-04:00

...for a few things. I've had a little hiatus from my sweet ol' blog and a few little breaks from my sanity. Work craziness, Jaycee craziness, bridal shower fun, and a vacation in the mix have all left me stressed, tired, entertained and amused (not necessarily in that order) with a disorganized apartment and tons of stuff in my car. Neither of those lead to me being in a good frame of mind, but I've been working at prioritizing and accepting that the disorganization is temporary.

Today had me making a quick trip to the City Market with Runs With Spatula. I must make a point of going with her more often. Not surprisingly, she knows almost everyone, and the market is more fun with a few tales of some back-stories here and there. We chatted with the organic brewing supplies guys about the upcoming Beer Bus Extravaganza, chatted with the EL Food Coop lady (quite a character), Chad at the popcorn stand, and headed to the Soup Spoon Cafe for lunch with Katrina & Dan and their friend Brad (who it turns out I went to high school with, which I figured out well after lunch). Good company all the way around.

After a spot of volunteering, I chilled for a while, then decided to go see "He's Just Not That Into You." A few of my single friends had commented that it wasn't a good movie to see if you're single, and I don't quite understand why. I thought it was funny, quirky, insightful at times, and all-around entertaining. I didn't find it depressing as some of my friends had. Inspiring, maybe. Enlightening at times because most people I know, me included, have checked their phone / email / social networking sites a gazillion times to see if their interest of the moment had tried to contact them. But not depressing. I actually thought it was uplifting. But, there's me for being in the minority :) No shock there.

And I rediscovered that I like hanging out with myself. I haven't done that in a long time - just taken some time to do something for myself, by myself, that wasn't work or Jaycee or family or friend related. Just a little time for myself, by myself, and it was all kinds of fantastic. And it's not that I don't appreciate my time with my people, but it's nice to recharge every so often, and this has been one of those evenings. Ahhh...

Oops...

2009-03-01T22:25:00.003-05:00

I somehow, without realizing it, moved the lever to the thermostat to roughly 95. I started sensing that it was a bit warm when the temp got up to around 85 or so. I thought about leaving it there, but slid it back to where it was originally. I think I'm ready for vacation.

101

2009-02-23T22:07:00.001-05:00

Yesterday's post (or was it this morning, technically?) was the 100th. Not too shabby for 10 months of blogging, and I'm proud of myself for having kept it up. Rockin'!

Picture It...

2009-02-22T22:43:00.005-05:00

Sunday, February 22. Grand Rapids. The 8 & Under State Swim Meet. Of course, I had to go. And I actually remembered my camera. I arrived at the pool just as a close race was finishing in the girls' relay, and was there just in time for Justin's first swim - the breaststroke leg of the 100-yard individual medley relay. I don't think I've seen him swim that fast before, and their team took 2nd! I got teary-eyed again, and both feel like an ass and a sense that nobody else feels like their heart is running around out of their body on that pool deck. Maybe that's the secret I should send in to postsecret... But alas, I thought he had a great meet overall - 2nd in two relays, 4th in the 100 IM, and 3rd in the 50 freestyle and 2nd in the 25 free.

But the interesting part was his reaction to his 50 free swim. He's been battling with his time, as he swam his fastest early in the season and has had a really hard time repeating that performance. When he doesn't get too upset, my brother does, as he seems to feel Justin's not trying hard enough and is capable of swimming faster. This time, it was Justin who was upset with his time (and maybe the fact that he placed third and not first, though he seemed okay with not placing first in his other events). So, maybe this time he did work hard and try his best and it wasn't good enough in one way or another. It's just amazing to me sometimes. I look into his sweet face and see myself. I don't remember getting overly frustrated with sports. I knew I would never be a great swimmer, so I settled for being okay. I still worked hard, but it didn't damage me that I wouldn't swim in college or ever make it to state meets. My frustration was more with my education. I was reminded today of being at home alone after school during my senior year in high school, sitting on the couch, working on Calculus homework, and hurling the book across the room in utter frustration at not being able to figure out a problem (probably matrices, damn that Rene Descartes). And it was all because of some overwhelming feeling that it should come easier to me than it did. Mind you, I got As in calc (and everything else, mostly), so how could that not be good enough? The trigger for that memory was Justin ripping off his cap and goggles after his race, and throwing a few good punches at his swim bag as he was digging for his towel, obviously upset. He pulled it together for his last race, and by the end of the meet, when I got my hugs and kisses, he was in a pretty good mood, which was nice to see.

Part of me thinks this is all a good character builder. As if somehow that the level of frustration can be good, and I know that Justin needs to learn how to deal with things, have confidence in himself, and be proud of himself. Oh, and it is so fascinating to watch my brother trying to pull the best out of his son, when my parents struggled with that very thing with him. I just hope these life lessons aren't as elusive for my nephew as they were for me.

And the pictures - Justin getting his medal for the 50 free, swimming in the 100 free relay, getting ready to swim the 50 free, and talking to my brother (who was volunteering as a timer) before the 100 free relay.

PostSecret

2009-02-15T16:20:00.002-05:00

I usually try to remember to check PostSecret on Sundays, and if not, I'm sure to hit it on Mondays. Today's post was about that universal thing called love. And it's just funny how easy it is to relate to many of them, but particularly:

-I would like to drop an anvil on his girlfriend / love interest's head
-I am afraid I'll never find what other people have found in terms of a meaningful relationship (this person referenced their grandparents)
-and, if I could go back in time, I would've kissed him... or maybe I did, and it still didn't work out. Nonetheless, no risk, no reward!

Ah, yet another reason to love Sundays!

Things I Miss...

2009-02-12T20:43:00.002-05:00

sunblock and mosquito bites
hugs from people taller than me
people laughing at work
relaxed shoulders
playing cards 'til five in the morning with Kirk
Lambrusco nights
sunshine
Justin's belly-laugh
sleep
Daria
bonfires
not having to say a word

Oh, Michael...

2009-02-09T01:38:00.002-05:00

I've had a few people ask me about the latest Michael Phelps drama - mostly, I'm sure, because of how avidly I watched his races in the Olympics this past summer. I couldn't tear myself away - it's so rare to see swimming on television that I savored every moment I could. But I digress... the question of late has been what do I think about Phelps and his bong...?

Honestly, I should preface this by saying I think marijuana should be legal. I have heard one argument against legalizing being safety while driving, but frankly, there's an instant THC test nowadays that works about as quickly as a breathalyzer (I know because I got into a disagreement recently with someone at work about how long certain drugs are detectable in various samples from the body - blood, hair, urine, etc...). I often wonder if it's just because the alcohol lobby is so strong or because smoking in general has been crucified, but I'm sure in my lifetime, recreational marijuana will not be legal in this country.

So, back to Phelps. My first response was that he's an idiot for putting himself in the position to be photographed with his lips wrapped around a 3-foot bong. My next response when I heard this at work was that surely he probably needed to smoke pot to get a good case of the munchies to be able to consume his 10,000-plus calorie diet while training. Then I thought that marijuana certainly cannot be performance-enhancing in the world of swimming (oooh, look at the pretty tiles on the bottom of the pool! Oops! I think I forgot to inhale when I turned my head to breathe! My gosh - it's taking a year to swim one length of the pool!). And then I remembered reading about his training regimen - 365 days a year, for roughly eight years if you count both Olympics. Can you imagine working 365 days a year? I think I'd need more than one hit off that bong if I worked that much. Oh, and think about the lung capacity of swimmers. Phelps could probably suck down an entire joint in one hit. And speaking of, do you know how many swimmers smoke? From my recollection, a whole lot of swimmers did / do. And when you read the reactions of his fellow Olympians, consider that thought. I have yet to see anybody in the sport of swimming come down too hard on Michael. He was suspended from competition for all of three months (again, it's not performance-enhancing, and he was on the bandwagon for being monitored for doping throughout the Olympics to remain above suspicion). I don't think that USA Swimming is really going to ban the greatest swimmer of all time from competing with London four years away. At least not for a little walk in the park like he just had.

But alas, he was contrite. He's supposed to be a role model, blah blah blah. I'd be more concerned if he had been photographed snorting coke or passed out with a needle in his arm. People are calling for him to enter rehab. I mean, seriously? Rehab? For smoking a little pot? Again, seriously? So he's going to town after winning eight gold medals during one Olympic games. Give the guy a break. And really, who cares? He's an amazing swimmer, which is why I know of him. He could be a complete whackadoo and I would still love to watch him swim, because he's just such a freak of nature. So, Michael, if you're reading this, stop apologizing. Enjoy your success. We'll see you again in 2012 when major stations decide to air swimming again. It'll be a long four years without you.

As Heard While Shopping...

2009-02-06T21:53:00.002-05:00

I ventured to the lovely Lansing Mall this evening, and overheard the following:

Girl A: Yo, Biatch! I just saw your baby daddy!
Girl B: Where he at?
Girl A: Food Court. Where else?
Girl B: That bastard!

I followed with a quick stop at Walgreens to grab some Diet Coke and a copy of US Weekly to satisfy my trashy celebrity "news" craving and heard the following:

Scene: Customer is talking on her cell phone, in an obvious rush, and hands the cashier a $100 bill for roughly $30 of merchandise...

Cashier: Joe, you denuded my drawer of all the small bills. I cannot break this customer's $100 bill.

Now, I could see in the drawer, and my many years of till experience at Record Town told me she clearly had more than enough change in $10 bills to go along with the one $20 bill she had. But that's almost beside the point. The cashier reminded me of someone from my past in such a striking way it was almost eerie. I have not heard the word "denuded" since I was a student at Oakland University. I had applied to the university and was asked to go to campus for a scholarship competition at Meadowbrook Hall. The day consisted of a tour of the mansion, lunch and an exam including a blue book essay. In the little time we had to chat with people, I met a girl named Trista. I later found out that my mom had lunch with her mom that day. In yet another fluke, we were roommates at orientation. She commuted, and I lived on campus, and we would regularly run into each other and hang out occasionally. She tried to get me to join the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) with her. I went to one meeting, where I heard the word denuded uttered by someone who was discussing having difficulty passing college algebra - I believe she was stating she felt denuded of her self-confidence because she was struggling so much with the class. It was then that I decided that the melodrama of SCA wasn't for me (that and hearing about pre-17th century role playing...shall I call for a chimney sweep??). I did end up hanging out with some of the people I met there, but I definitely remained on the fringe. But holy flashback, Batman! I can't believe that was over fifteen years ago already. I feel denuded of my sense of time!

Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...

2009-02-06T17:34:00.002-05:00

So, I had to really dig to find a page-a-day calendar for work. I usually get one for Christmas or my birthday, but no such luck this year. I did hit the post-holiday sale at Barnes & Noble, and the best I could come up with was "Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar..." which is a humorous look at philosophy (sometimes). The entry for Thursday was:

Infinity & Eternity
Two cows are standing in the pasture. After a while, one turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that although pi is usually abbreviated to four decimal places, it actually goes on to infinity?" And the other cow replies, "Moo."

Spartan Fan?!?

2009-02-04T00:21:00.002-05:00

My friend Ange asked me the other night if I'd like to go the MSU - PSU basketball game. I'm certain I must've looked at her like she was nuts. Now, mind you, I used to be a sports fan, which is to say I used to watch Michigan football religiously, would watch the Lions when I could bear to, loved the Pistons back in the days of Bill Laimbeer and Ricky Mahorn (yes, I even had the Bad Boys! poster - my mom was jealous), and would avidly watch the Wings during play-offs and sometimes during regular season. However, during the last several years, I changed from a rabid Michigan fan to a casual observer who would cheer for any Big Ten school - even OSU - if they were in a bowl game. But I was never, ever, a college hoops fan. Not ever. It used to drive Kirk nuts, as he was an even more die hard fan of MSU than I was of UM. We would watch the football games together, and I would gleefully watch the Wolverines saunter off to yet another bowl game (this past season being the only exception). But as soon as basketball rolled around, I had no interest whatsoever - of course, the one sport where UM didn't have a chance in hell of beating State. I swear it wasn't planned - I just thought it was kind of boring.

So, my puzzled look had Ange a bit confused perhaps, but only because she didn't know the back story. I told her I would go unless she had any other takers that would be more interested than me (I was setting the bar low, you see). She said she hadn't, and we made arrangements to meet up and head to the game.

Sunday was beautiful. We had a decent walk to the Breslin Center, complete with sunshine and melting snow. We walked in, found that our section was right across from the entrance, eventually found our seats and settled in just in time for the anthem. I always love hearing the national anthem at the beginning of sporting events. I'm sure it's because it takes me back to my days of swimming, where we always had the anthem or the pledge of allegiance to start the meets, or maybe it has a bit to do with a trip to Washington DC when I went the the Supreme Court building, the Capitol and the Tax Court (we got kicked out of there - you apparently have to have official business to visit...who knew?), along with the other monuments and museums, that has really given me a sense of nostalgia and patriotism when I hear either tribute to the United States.

Anyway, I started looking around and noticed the Izzone surrounding the court. The only other basketball game I had been to was a Pistons game at the Palace - sitting in the upper bowl, which made me a bit queasy and made the Pistons look like mini people akin to Homies running around the teeny court. This wasn't the case with the location of our seats at the State game - lower bowl, behind the band, where we could see and hear everything. I have to say, the experience, despite how poorly the team played, kind of turned me into a bit of a Spartan basketball fan. I know I enjoyed it because I started to feel a bit nauseated at the end of the game when the score was so close... that only happens when I really get into the mood, and I was surprised that I had that reaction. In terms of the ambiance, the sound was deafening, the Izzone was hilarious (even the ones way at the top of the upper bowl, which Ange pointed out to me about halfway through the game), the fans were fun to watch, we were indoors (I still hate the cold), and I reconnected with sports, which is something I haven't done as a spectator in a long, long time. Needless to say, if Ange asks me if I want to go to another game with her, she won't get such a perplexed look!

I Heart...

2009-01-28T00:49:00.002-05:00

...the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack. Have I mentioned that yet? I love music. I have always loved music. But it's rare that I find I really like a soundtrack enough to buy it, let alone listen to it for weeks on end in the car. I remember commenting to Sheryl when we saw the movie together that I thought the music was incredible. I searched for a while for the soundtrack (Barnes & Noble let me down twice, which is odd, and it was finally Target to the rescue, which was also odd), and was concerned that it wouldn't live up to my expectations. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that it's a great stand-alone compilation. I'm quite certain I would've loved the CD without having seen the movie.

I saw the movie for a second time, after listening to the soundtrack for weeks. And it was even more stirring than before. The tempo, the insistence, the sorrow...the entire vibe of the CD is captured in the movie, even though I'm sure it's intended to be the other way around. And there's such strong association between the music and the images in the film - from running through the streets of Mumbai to the aerial view of the city to riding on top of the train and "working" at the Taj Mahal - I can't even begin to imagine music that would pair so well with the scenes for which the music was selected. It's one thing to have songs I recognize in a movie as there's a sense of nostalgia often related to hearing them. There's something altogether different with remembering music I've never heard before because the use of the music was done in such a powerful way. I think I'm done gushing for now. By the way, have I mentioned that I like the soundtrack a bit?

Back to Rational?

2009-01-28T00:30:00.003-05:00

Almost, but not quite...

The production schedules came in, and for me, weren't as bad as I thought. We have two more weeks of downtime scheduled in March and April. The other plant is not so lucky as they will be dropping a shift. So, another 1,100 hourly layoffs and another 50 or so salaried layoffs. I'm sure this will mean a lot of shifting around at the various plants, and I'm guessing we'll have more new-ish faces to get to know and a lot of changes over the next few months. But we're scheduled for production all year, and while that can change as quickly as an email can be sent, for now it's a relief.

We have always teased Auntie Joanne about her amusing condition where as her stress level increases, her shoulders shrug further and further upward. You could tell when she was particularly tense or upset because you could barely see her ears. I realized a long time ago that I share the same tendency. It's either that or I clench my jaw. Fortunately, I haven't been clenching my jaw (no grinding, just clenching, which is painful at best), but every so often, and quite a bit yesterday, I had to stop, think, take a deep breath, and force my shoulders down. It makes me chuckle when I do it, as I picture Auntie Joanne and just think about all the shit we gave her over the years about that. I'm sure she's proud that the tradition carries on...

Completely Irrational...

2009-01-26T00:32:00.003-05:00

So, after a "forced" vacation this past week, which was full of budgets for both work (I know - vacation, right?) and Jaycees, not enough relaxation, lots of fun, and not enough reading, I find myself a bit anxious. Or maybe a lot anxious. And I have no desire to sleep. The irrational thought is that if I sleep, I'll eventually wake up, and then will have to go to work. My rational side, which seems to want to hide right now, realizes that I have to go to work whether I sleep or not. Right now, irrational is winning out (quite obviously).

I haven't dreaded work in a really long time - years, maybe, even with all of the craziness of the last few months. So why now? I attribute it to submitting my budget, and having the finance guy email me back that it was exactly what he was looking for, but would have to be reworked because there's an upcoming announcement about the production schedule. *gulp* That's usually not good news. At least in this climate, that's not usually good news. I'll deal with whatever comes my way, but having been out of the loop for the last week, the anticipation is getting to me. And it doesn't help that I let my sleep schedule go to hell in a hand basket this past week, too. Or rather, I let it go back to what I feel my natural biorhythms dictate, which means going to sleep around 3 or 4 in the morning and getting up around 9 or 10, not to mention the occasional catnaps of this past week.

So, I guess I should focus on the positives, right? I took my Christmas tree down and put it away in the balcony storage area. My goal was to disassemble by February 1, so I met my goal! I didn't get around to any general cleaning in the living room, so it's in a bit of disarray right now, but should be easily fixed (which is something I could be doing instead of blogging, but this is more fun). I saw Slumdog Millionaire for the second time, and loved it, and fell in love with the music even more, which is crazy since that CD has been living in my car since I got it. And I saw Gran Torino. Hilarious throughout, and a tear-jerker at the end. I loved it, and will probably see it again. And I am grateful that I have a job to go to tomorrow, even if the dread is a little overwhelming right now. I know I'll quickly get into the swing and start figuring out what's going on. It's just quite a challenge. I think it's time to curl up on the couch for a bit...

It's fun to be a girl...

2009-01-24T23:03:00.002-05:00

It's fun to be a girl in a time when Tupperware parties have given way to Passion parties. I went to a friend's Passion party today, and had one of my dear friends in tow. There's nothing better than taking a picture of a Jelly Osaki dual-action orgasm-giver and texting it to another friend, all the while knowing this is all completely normal and fun.

We followed it up by meeting my friend's husband at Sindhu for dinner. I haven't experienced Indian food in Lansing, despite living here for 8ish years. The food was great, and we shared three dishes family-style. I picked the Chicken Vindaloo (spicy, not medium!). We had another chicken dish in a creamy-ish tomato-y sauce and lamb in a spicy sauce. The company was better than the food, and I had a delightful day with my friends. No pressure, no worries - just funny conversation and general silliness - a diversion from all of the current stress and worries. Such a good feeling!

Hi, Soapbox...Pardon Me While I Hop On You For a Hot Minute...

2009-01-20T21:53:00.005-05:00

Post-swearing in, I got into a lengthy discussion about the inauguration and my disdain for the view that civil unions should satisfy the LBGT population in their quest for equality. I was faced once again with the opinion that civil unions should satisfy the quest for equal rights. In my mind, gays (and their supporters) aren't really searching for equal rights. They are seeking equality. And at this point the semantics discussion enters in. The logic (flawed in my mind) follows that: If gays are granted civil unions, and civil unions provide the same "benefits" as the legal institution of marriage, then the term civil union should be sufficient. My logic is: If gays are granted the same benefits of the legal institution of marriage, then call it a marriage for crying out loud!

The only way I could try to get my point across was this: Women and men fought for women's suffrage. Women became voters, just like men. There was no distinction between male voters and female voters. They did not create another term for women as a subgroup of the ballot-casting population. They didn't call them Pickers or Selectors or Choosers. They called them voters when they were FINALLY granted the same right to vote that men (at least the white ones) had held for-seemingly-ever. To call women with the right to vote by another name denigrates that right and continues to promote a distinction between the two groups when that distinction shouldn't exist. So, if gay couples are FINALLY allowed to have their commitment to each other recognized legally as having the same benefits as the currently legal heterosexual marriages, it should be called by the same name to promote equality. It's senseless to me that a gay couple should seek a Civil Union License, while heterosexual couples apply for a Marriage License. Why don't we just take another step backwards (at least in some parts of our great country... in other parts, this would probably make sense) and have Interracial Marriage Licenses? Or Interfaith Marriage Licenses? If there's going to be one distinction, should every couples' differences be identified as well? Hell, why not break it down into nationalities and throw some slurs in there as well? Maybe a Wop-Mick Marriage License? How about more defining physical and emotional characteristics, like Fattie-Redneck Marriage License? And we can work on the specifics of the gay licenses, too...Bear-Queen Marriage License...Lipstick-Bull Dyke Marriage License... The possibilities are endless. Which is even more reason to just call it a damn marriage.

I Know...

2009-01-13T22:43:00.002-05:00

Still remiss in blogging, I know... I haven't even mentioned my South Haven / Bangor adventure, have I? And Tia's visit? So good to catch up. It's funny how you can be friends with someone for not a very long time yet still feel a pretty great connection. It gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling. And weddings galore? And a cruise in March! So much work ahead of me!

But I saw this quote today that made me giggle:

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
-Socrates

I think substituting "husband" should work as well.

So, one of my goals will be to catch up on blogging next week during my forced week off. We're rotating weeks off at work to avoid laying anyone off, so it's not really a bad thing. And I managed to roll over a few weeks from last year, so I have 5 weeks of vacation and a week of sick time. I just hate dipping into the "reserve" that I keep rolling over. Such is life - I am glad to have a job at the very least, and happy to keep my employees working...

Operation: Eat Healthy - Update

2009-01-04T11:02:00.003-05:00

I have a lot of friends waiting until January 5 to start their healthy eating / exercise resolutions. I decided not to wait for a few reasons. First, I signed up for endurance swimming at the Y. It starts during the week of January 12, but I did not want to be dying in the pool during class from having not swam much in the last few months. So, it has been off to the pool for the last few days, which is working out nicely. Second, I figure the weight I gained over the holidays will come off easier if I work at it sooner. I'm sure there's absolutely no physiological basis for this, and I'm positive it's all mental. It's not like there is a LIFO accounting process for the increase in the number or size of my fat cells (for all you non-accounting people, LIFO means Last In First Out, and is a way of valuing inventory), but really, with a little time on my hands, I figured it didn't make sense to wait. And I thought it might be detrimental to wait.

So, I hopped on the scale this morning and I am +2 pounds from the beginning of December. I'm a bit shocked by that, as I thought it would be quite a bit more given what I ate over the holidays (mom & Nancy made the ridiculous caramel-covered pretzels rolled in toffee and dipped in chocolate - one of the few things I absolutely cannot seem to resist). So, we will see how all of this goes - I'm hoping to make the changes permanent. I don't have the urge to lose a bunch of weight and gain it back again as I've done in the past. And since I've lost weight in the past, I'm not scared or intimidated by the process of doing so, so much as the process of keeping it off. And, having a few weddings to stand up in this year helps just a little with the motivation! Sometimes, it's nice to have a timeline to work with. Wish me luck, and if you're up for a class at the Y, let me know - after all, variety is the spice of life!

Remiss Blogging: Birthday Kitsch

2009-01-04T01:51:00.011-05:00

Yes, it happened again this year: I had a birthday. December 12, in fact. The year was 1974, the year of a huge snowstorm in Michigan just before I was born. If I remember some of the stories correctly, my dad was sick of lacing up my mom's boots, mom's blood pressure was a little out of whack, and the doctor was going to induce at some point (I like to think on Friday the 13th, but am not sure how accurate that is...). But, Thursday the 12th it was to be. It's hard to believe 34 years have flown by - so many experiences, so much learning, so much kitsch!

I've always been a fan of tacky. Not trashy tacky, but fun tacky. A case in point would be my adorable dog. I used to feel so sorry for people on Wheel of Fortune who had to choose their prizes from the showcase. It seemed they always got stuck with a five-piece dinette set (often of the wicker variety), and with only $100 left, they would be forced to purchase the poor ceramic dog, usually with a price point of $75. I thought it unfair they couldn't keep the money. Nobody seemed happy to "win" a ceramic dog. And it was exactly this diatribe that led Sara to give me a ceramic dog for my birthday (or was it Christmas? that's the problem with a December birthday...) several years ago. I finally named her Lucy May Haas (another long story with an anticlimactic ending) after having her for several years, and proceed to dress her up for the seasons. But I digress...

This year was no different from birthdays past. My friends did not fail me, and while I feel I'm almost a little too old to get birthday presents, I appreciate the thought that went into each of these in particular.

The first received was the Pi Plate. Nope, no misspelling there! It's a "Pi" pie plate! How exciting! Yes, I love the number pi. There's something oddly fascinating about a constant with infinite definition (or lack thereof??) - it just rocks my world. And the pi plate shall never be harmed by actually baking in it - it will remain proudly displayed.

Last year, Melissa bought me a Hillary Clinton nutcracker. We had a lot of fun with that at the holidays, especially my nephew. The nutcracker portion of course was between Hillary's thighs. So, this year, in the grand tradition, Melissa bought me the accompanying Bill Clinton corkscrew. And where else would the screw appear but from between his legs. Needless to say, we've also had a fine time with Bill (as many others have as well).

I don't know if I've posted much about my love of bacon (or really, almost any pork product...and pork wrapped in pork is a masterpiece all its own), but it's a frequent topic of conversation among my foodie friends. Somewhere, and I'm not sure where, one of my friends found Spam made with bacon. Who would've thought they would class Spam up that much?? I don't know that I've ever actually eaten Spam. I do remember in 12th grade AP Physics when some of my fellow students wrote an ode to Spam and brought the poem in along with a can, which was promptly displayed in Mr. Armstrong's weird food area (we got extra credit points for bringing in the weird food of the week - something Sara and I sorely needed! I particularly remember wandering the Meijer produce department and buying persimmons and star fruit).

And finally are the nuns. These will also fall into the category of religious paraphernalia, which in volume, seems to be in contention with the Elvis stuff I've received over the years. They are not just nuns - they are racing nuns! I'm sure the waitress at Chammps, where I went for my birthday dinner with the folks, was entertained by us racing the nuns across the table. I really had to take them for my mom to see, since she went to parochial schools growing up (including Mt. Mary Immaculate Academy in Ancaster, Ontario for a year - she couldn't take much more than that!). The nuns have been a fun addition to the collection.

So, another year has passed. I've been surrounded by good friends and good family. I somehow still have a job (not a pot shot at my work ethic so much as the current economic crisis...I think W. finally called it a recession? Who knew?). I really can't complain.

Church and Pointed Sermons

2009-01-01T23:07:00.002-05:00

I started working with Dan in 2001 when he joined our team in Lansing. I eventually met and started working with his wife, Melissa, as well. It was at a time when I didn't know many people in this area, and they became my Lansing Family. Dan and Melissa had me over for dinner at least once a week for what seemed to be a few years. Life has gotten much busier for all of us - their girls are in school and dance, and I live my crazy life, too.

Melissa recently invited me to see their girls in the Christmas program at their non-denominational Christian church. I've known Jordan since she was just three, and I vividly recall when Dan beeped me on the Nextel on a Saturday morning to let me know Melissa had given birth to Morgan, an 11 lb. 12 oz. baby girl. The girls are now 10 and 6, and I am amazed at how much they have grown up. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see Jordan have one of the lead roles, and both girls sing solos.

The day before, the topic of me going to church came up at breakfast with some good friends. Felicity mentioned it first, and I think she was the only one who knew I was going. A few eyebrows were raised and I explained what was motivating me to attend a service. Once they heard it was to see the girls, there seemed to be some collective relief, as if the reason made the world right again. We talked for a bit about church in general, and I remember saying that I hoped I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I did at my nephew's first communion in the Catholic church. I did feel tense the entire time at the communion, and it was a horrible feeling - knowing that I will likely attend church in the future for my nephew, but being at such odds with it personally is upsetting to say the least. But I digress - I drove to church on Sunday morning in the horrible wind storm that plagued the area, and actually arrived on time (surely to Dan and Melissa's surprise).

The program, written by one of the church members, was "Visions of Jesus: A Christmas Musical." It featured Dr. Humbug, a scientist who invented a time machine. She discovered that it worked when a shepherd magically appeared in the present. The shepherd, Rebecca, and Dr. Humbug, traveled back in time to various points in Jesus' life so that Rebecca could show Dr. Humbug the wonders of his life and death, and the importance of that for all peoples' spirituality.

The sermon that followed the program talked about how some people just can't (or won't) take that leap of faith to believe in God / god. These people seem to require proof of god's existence. The pastor went on to discuss how at times in our lives we all disbelieve something or another despite the evidence being clearly in front of us. And he rounded out the sermon with the idea that for all of the non-believers, the evidence of the wonders of god are really all around. So...did you ever feel like something was written specifically and pointedly just for you? That's how I felt at that moment about the program and the sermon, and it was off-putting at best. It was an interesting sermon to listen to, and I wasn't at all tense or upset by being at their church, which was a bit of a relief. I've been considering the sermon ever since, and I can't help but come back to the idea that yes, we are surrounded by many wonders, but why is god the explanation (or cause?)?

In summary, here's what I got out of the experience:
-It felt great to support the girls. I hadn't seen them in quite a while, and I got excited hugs and smiles, which was wonderful.
-It was wonderful to see Dan's parents and Melissa's mom and brother. I've gotten to know them over the years, and again, hadn't seen them in a quite a while. It was good to catch up, and is really one of my favorite things about the holiday season.
-I think I was more open to the ideas presented in the play and the sermon, and instead of immediately dismissing them because they are so different from what I believe, I have spent time pondering and letting the ideas roll around in my head (and I'll beat a few people to the punch - yes, I know there's plenty of space for that to happen...).
-I'm glad to know I can sit in a church and not feel tense and upset. It seems my old church is the root of what I feared was a problem with all churches. Interesting to have that disproved...
-I'm ever grateful for my Lansing Family.

To Do List

2009-01-01T17:29:00.002-05:00

My list last year was purely mental...and the things I choose to remember are generally ones I worked on (recycle, exercise, travel...). Since I started the blog in May of last year, I figure this is as good a forum as any to jot down my notes to self regarding the upcoming year.

-Clean / organize spare room (long overdue - need to finish before going back to work)
-Organize tax stuff (yeay! for itemizing)
-Submit receipts for FSA reimbursement
-Plan camping trips by Feb. 1
-Take down Christmas tree by Feb. 1
-Go back into Operation: Eat Healthy mode...no more slacking!
-Register for classes at the Y (completed for current session but ongoing)
-Sign up for some kind of art class / seminar
-Put aside current read for book club selection
-Challenge mom on "Harder" level on Sudoku
-Maintain blog (78 posts beginning May 2008...I'm still a little shocked / impressed!) and revisit old blog posts
-Take more pictures
-Hang out with Jamie and Justin more
-Be a better friend
-Recycle more frequently (kitchen is driving me nuts!)
-Be more open-minded
-Maintain current Netflix habit (actually watching and returning movies in a reasonable amount of time)
-Explore the somewhat freakish current obsession with documentaries (see Netflix note - I've watched all documentaries received immediately but seem more lax on the movies - weird coincidence or is there something to it?)
-Revisit making measurable goals with actual deadlines :)

Drunk Dialing

2008-12-30T15:58:00.003-05:00

Hey - for once it wasn't me making the call! I received a call last night that I have been remiss in blogging (no shit!). Actually, I believe the quote was, "I've read about Milk. I'm sick of reading about Milk over and over again. I need something new!" I didn't point out that one could easily scroll and re-read some older posts, because there's no reasoning with drunkenness (I know - people have tried to reason with me when I've imbibed and it's like talking to a brick wall). So, my friend, after I return from misadventures on the west side of the state, I will blog my lil' heart out! Until then, you've been immortalized :)

Milk & Soul Mates

2008-12-14T22:43:00.004-05:00

This was my birthday weekend, and in the grand tradition of birthdays yore, Kirk came up to Lansing to spend time with me. I was reminiscing recently with his sisters about the first time I met them, as the memory is so vivid. They came to college for the annual siblings weekend, and he brought them to the mall where I worked. Tiffany was probably 8, and Shel was probably 3. I remember Tiffy being very precocious, and Shel with her hair all scraggly and standing on end as Kirk hadn't bothered to brush it that morning. When I mentioned that it was amazing that it had been nearly fifteen years, Kirk admonished me that once it's greater than ten, you're not allowed to count, almost like when half-birthdays stop mattering.

Back at that time, Kirk was in the closet and I was a straight-not-narrow member of the campus GALA organization. I had a roommate who was a lesbian, and as a way to befriend her and gain her trust, I started going to meetings with her to show my support. I marched in an effort to have sexual orientation included in the university's non-discrimination policy. I spent time trying to understand the struggles my new friends endured. A few months after first meeting Kirk's sisters, he came over to my apartment, nervous and jumpy, wanting to share some big news with me. He told me he was gay. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, as time blurs some details. I'm guessing I told him I loved him and that I was a little bummed! Over the years, I was witness to him coming out to other friends, family and coworkers. I watched the struggles he had, sometimes on the sideline and sometimes by his side. I was his plus-one at work parties where it just wasn't acceptable to be "out." At times, it was a pretty intense thing to share. The vulnerability and uncertainty was often palpable and I often found myself wishing I could change the world for him.

We had talked over Thanksgiving about going to see the movie "Milk" together. The movie, about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to a major political office, seemed right up our alley. So, this past Saturday, we ventured to the theater to take it in. The details of the movie are just a fraction of the experience. Sitting with Kirk, holding his hand as we watched this movie about the struggles of gays and the hatred that they face, was amazing. By the end, I couldn't stop the tears that were streaming down my face. My eyes were red and swollen. I was exhausted. I was enthralled. I was amazed at the courage of so many people who have been willing to fight - not only for themselves, but for those to follow. And I was also discouraged that our society still holds onto such bigotry.

I've never believed that I have one soul mate. And I struggle with the idea of what a soul is. I guess that's the problem with being a concrete thinker. When I had the opportunity to fulfill my general education requirement for Philosophy, I took Logic. It wasn't because I wasn't interested in philosophers so much as I knew that pure logic would make sense to me. I remember being fascinated in 9th grade English by the transcendentalists and the idea of the oversoul and the thought of all finite beings drawing support from one infinite spiritual being of the universe. I was intrigued by the idea of the mere existence of this spiritual being; to me, this differed greatly from the Catholic ideology of a God being a controlling being to fear that I had been groomed to believe in during countless hours spent in Catechism. I've felt connections with many people on many different levels. But the connection with Kirk in the theater Saturday was something I haven't experienced in a long time; it was the sense of just knowing how the other was feeling because of such a long, shared history together. And it served as a reminder to cherish those moments with my soul mates.

Huh...

2008-12-10T22:06:00.002-05:00

Did you ever realize you possessed a quality you thought there was no way you would possess? Mainly because you had never been truly tested in that vein before? Let me say it's a true bite in the ass when you find that quality unappealing...

As Heard On the Radio...

2008-12-09T22:52:00.002-05:00

...an advertisement for Ski Doos being sold by Groves Motorsports:

"Get off your couch and get some excitement between your legs!"

The Rev!

2008-12-09T22:00:00.003-05:00

Corky scored tickets to the Reverend Horton Heat show on Saturday at the Majestic in Detroit. This is the second time I have seen The Rev with Corky and Runs With Spatula, and as before, it was fantastic.

"What makes it fantastic?" you say? First and foremost, it's like going home. It may be hard for some to understand, but to actually be among a large group of people where I don't feel like I stand out one single bit and where just about anything that I think is cool goes is a rarity. There were chain wallets galore...leather pants and jackets...alternative doo-wop greaser styles...old people...young people...mohawks...the people of my young adulthood. It took me back in my days of combat boots with crazy black patterned tights, real alternative music that didn't have a radio station home (or for those who kick it old school, the days when 88.7 in Detroit was a classical station with an 8 - midnight segment of college-like radio, where I first heard and fell in love with Nine Inch Nails), goth make-up when I chose to actually put some on (I was wearing some the first time I had a gay man look at me and say, "You're fucking beautiful"), funky clothes, silver jewelry, and trips to Sally's Beauty Supply for whatever odd hair color I could get away with at whatever job I had at the time (auburn was the classic favorite). It's a crowd where I can just breathe and feel completely at peace - someplace to feel anonymous and noticed all at the same time.

Then, of course, there's the music. Just to watch these three men play is a treat, and it still amazes me that such a sound can exist with a guitar, an upright bass and a drum set. Since the concert was in December, they played a few songs off of their Christmas CD, which was awesome. The Jimbo song makes me happy. And they put on such a great show without the need for theatrics. All in all, it was a much-needed excursion!

Nashville Pussy!

2008-12-08T18:47:00.004-05:00

After a long drive home, a quick shower, and a 60th surprise birthday party for Kirk's aunt, I headed down to the Reverend Horton Heat show with Corky, Runs with Spatula, and her nephew, Michael. We met up with A. and her very cool friend, Nicole. We had heard that there were two bands opening for the Rev, Backyard Tire Fire and Nashville Pussy. To make a long story not so long, the lead singer of Nashville Pussy shares his first name with Spatula's sweetiepie. So, the gist of the conversation went a little like this:

C: You should have him sign your chest.
A: You should!
C: How funny would that be?
S: I will if you will! (I'm sure secretly hoping I wouldn't, but she knows better!)
C: I wonder if A. has a Sharpie in her purse... (by the way, her purse weighs easily 20 pounds, and probably qualifies as a FEMA emergency kit)
S: (thinking to herself, "Shit!" as the likelihood was great)
A: (after digging around) Here you go! One blue Sharpie!
C: Alright...let's go! (the lead singer was standing just a few feet away...)

We walked over, where the singer was chatting with a drunk and impaired young lady...
C: I'm sorry, but may I interrupt for just a minute? We were wondering if you would sign our chests...?
Singer: ;alsdjf;lasdjf;lasejdg;kasdhg. (Completely unintelligible, but he grabbed the Sharpie and scrawled away just above my right breast.)

Runs with Spatula followed, and we both had, "Hell Yeah" followed by his signature gracing our chests in blue Sharpie! A. commented that she didn't realize how naughty we were and proceeded to photograph the experience, which likely won't end up on this blog. Runs With Spatula and I agreed that he was actually respectful and didn't overtly try to cop a feel or anything. Needless to say, it's the first time I've been signed by a musician, but who could let that harmless opportunity pass by?

But, I must say the real question of the night was: were the singer and Ron Jeremy separated at birth? You be the judge...

Wayne!

2008-12-07T23:47:00.004-05:00

I wouldn't call it a life-long obsession by any stretch. But certainly since the first time I visited Las Vegas, I have wanted to see Wayne Newton in concert. Despite a few opportunities over the years, I never made it to a show. But when I read in my weekly Ticketmaster email update that he was coming to a state near me, I decided to go. I flew solo for this event - I didn't have any takers on the invitation to travel 200 miles each way to see Wayne.

I took off a little early on Friday and drove down to Hammond, IN. If you haven't been there, I wouldn't suggest booking your next vacation for the greater Hammond / Gary, IN area. I checked in to the hotel, took a quick nap, then went in search of the Horseshoe Casino. It was nearly an exercise in futility as Google Maps failed me. I did eventually stumble upon the casino, made my way to The Venue (yes, that's what the theater is called - perhaps they should rename Binion's Horseshoe Casino to The Casino). I was a bit late, and was promptly seated 3rd row, center. Holy cow! Three rows away from Wayne!

I thoroughly enjoyed the show - he is quite the entertainer - very gregarious and charming. I chatted a bit with the three guys in front of me from Ohio, who were in their late 30s - early 40s. It was surprising to me to see three guys (straight, mind you) at a Wayne show for some reason. But they were entertaining as well. Wayne's voice is getting old and isn't so smooth anymore, but he's so charismatic and energetic that it didn't matter. The ambiance was great. I especially enjoyed the very end when the house lights came up a a bunch of people in wheel chairs and with walkers rushed the stage to shake Wayne's hand. There was even an oxygen tank. The line for the elevator outside The Venue was extremely long, due to the sheer number of mobility aids required by patrons.

I took a hot minute to scope out the black jack tables, but the minimums were more than I cared to spend. Since it would be sacrilege in my family to leave a casino without placing a bet, I plopped down at a nickel slot and put $20 in. It was one of the infamous nickel slots with five electronic "wheels" and the opportunity to play up to fifteen lines. I hit a little bit on the first few spins. Then I decided to play the max bet on each line and hit for 2,560 nickels. I ended up cashing out $153 dollars and promptly left. I figure that covered the hotel and some of the gas - not too shabby!

I survived the drive home Saturday morning / early afternoon despite the treacherous conditions (at least one car off the road each mile along I-94 in MI for at least 12 miles). I think the trip was time well spent, and this is another adventure to check off of my list of things to do!

My Favorite Man

2008-12-05T00:00:00.003-05:00

My siblings and I had family pictures taken as a 40th anniversary gift for my parents in August. I copied the CD of the pictures, and not surprisingly, here's my favorite picture - with my nephew. His new career goal is to be a comedian because he likes to make people laugh - just a little bit of May blood flowing through his veins!

Pinnochle: The Curse...?

2008-11-30T22:49:00.002-05:00

Thanksgiving was enjoyable as usual - great food, time spent with family, nephew cracking me up... The rest of the weekend went well, too. I got to catch up with friends (Four Christmases with D & Frank, lunch with mom & Sheryl, dinner with Jackie & family and Brian), and also got to play pinnochle with mom, Nan & Kirk. Usually, playing pinnochle makes me happy. This time, it just reminded me of my uncle. And it made me sad. Kirk would call it being in a funk, and usually I would agree. This time, it's more like mild depression. Losing people never gets easy. No matter how much I've been through it, it still hurts, and it hurts differently every time. I find I can't shake the thought that for the rest of my life, I'll keep losing more people. So, there's options... I can opt not to get close to people and miss out on amazing experiences, or I can get close to people and have amazing experiences but have such a void when they are gone. I know...I would probably sense a void with the first scenario, too. But grief makes me wonder which is worse. And maybe there's no answer - maybe they are equally painful.

Life in the World of Online "Dating"

2008-11-26T18:46:00.002-05:00

Just because I have so much free time on my hands, I decided to give match.com a whirl. Again. I figured, "What the hell? Haven't been on here in quite a while...maybe things have changed." I challenge all of you who believe I'm not an optimist - obviously I must be an optimist (or just straight-up delusional) to think things may have possibly changed in the realm of online "dating." So, here's a blurb from someone who is calculated to be an 81% match for me:

"I like to watch movies at home or in a theater. I like to hang out with my friends and family. I also like to local race tracks. I work a local race track. Like to hang out in my local donut shops. I like other sports other than racing."

Hmm...this makes me think the other 19% is really freakin' important.

But, I did find a diamond in the rough that gave me a little bit of hope. We emailed back and forth a bit, then he disappeared for a week. I received a final email from him that went a bit like this:

"You seem like a really great person, and I apologize for falling off the face of the earth. I found someone that I think I have a real chance with. I just wanted to let you know. I hope you find someone, too."

Wonder of wonders - a true gentleman, willing to be honest and willing to let me know that it just wasn't going to happen instead of just vanishing. Crazy concept, hey? I did respond back that I wished him the best (which I do), but was secretly thinking I didn't want to burn any bridges should it not work out for him.

Now, I'm not looking for the infamous Mr. Right. I don't really believe he exists. I am looking for Mr. I'm Willing to Work Hard for This and Have Fun Along the Way. If only he'd knock on my door and say, "Hey, let's give it a shot," and save me from the tedium of weeding through profile after profile...

What we're gonna do now is go back...

2008-11-23T15:29:00.002-05:00

I left this house this morning just after 7. Yep, on a Sunday. It's definitely not my normal habit by any stretch, but I have a feeling I'll be doing this occasionally for a few years. My nephew had a swim meet this morning, and since I was actually in town, there was pretty much no way I was going to miss it.

Just like the last one, it brought back a ton of memories from when I was a kid. He had his event numbers written on his arm in Sharpie. My mom was documenting all of his times in the program, and had his event numbers written on her hand, too. Parents and family members were cheering. The pool was hot and humid and smelled like chlorine. Ahhh, the good ol' days.

I saw him swim four events. His 25-yard back was great until the finish - he has a fear of cracking his head on the wall, so he slows down and forgets to count his strokes in from the flags, which makes him take too many and he ends up cracking his head on the wall anyway. If he'd stick with his game plan, and swim the same speed & count his strokes, he'd be all set. He's practiced it, but it hasn't translated into meets yet. But, he still took first and broke the swim meet record.

His 25-yard free was nearly perfect. His start was awesome, he took only one breath, and he looked like someone (or something) was chasing him. He had a personal best of 15.16 seconds, took first again, and broke the swim meet record.

The 50-yard breaststroke saw a 5-second drop in his time, and he took 2nd, but wasn't too far out of first. And finally, in the 100-yard free, he kept up with his teammate next to him through the first 60 yards. He started slipping going into the last turn, and was a bit behind. Somehow, he turned it on and caught up. We were sure he would take 2nd, but in a Phelps-like maneuver, he out-touched his teammate by two hundredths of a second to take first. The weekend's tally was 5 gold and 3 silver. Not too bad at all!

I found myself getting a bit teary when he won the 25 free. There's something about knowing he's worked hard and then watching him execute so well that makes me proud. I looked at my mom and told her it's probably good I don't have kids of my own, because I'd embarrass the hell out of them by crying all the time. She just laughed because she's the same way. We followed up with lunch after the meet. It was great to have some time with my family at the pool. It's funny how zen that can be - I guess I find my peace at different places than most, but I'm okay with that.

Dos and Don'ts for Goodwill

2008-11-18T16:25:00.003-05:00

I called Goodwill on Saginaw to see if they accept donations, and if so, what the drop-off hours were. I also asked if there was anything I couldn't donate. The response was "No knives, guns or tires." Knives and guns on the face I can understand. I can also understand tires when I think about it for a minute. But what an odd combination. And how about, "No drug paraphrenalia," or "No medications." Just an odd happening today.

Oh, the People-Watching

2008-11-14T03:04:00.002-05:00

I worked the late shift at a charity poker tournament tonight. Not surprisingly, the people get more strange as the night wears on. This was no exception. A. and I were diligently selling and redeeming chips, when one person in particular came up to the counter. I had remarked earlier that I thought he was a bit creepy. Here's the conversation that ensued:
DG: How many kids you got?
Me: (no response...I was counting and logging, and didn't realize he was speaking to me)
DG: I said how many kids you got?
Me: I'm sorry...did you mean me?
DG: Yeah, how many kids you got?
Me: Eight. (dead-pan, by the way)
DG: (staring, shocked, for a few minutes) How many?
Me: (no response, aside from a gentle shrug)
DG: No, you don't got no kids!
Me: You're right, I don't.

A. looked at me - "Did that just happen?" Yep, it did. And yes, DG is code for Drunk Guy. I'm looking forward to working some more on Saturday...

I Wonder...

2008-11-06T07:55:00.003-05:00

...will it be 150 years before we elect a gay person as president? How can we cheer that we've "come so far" by voting for a non-white man, yet seemingly be okay with the fact that we, as a society, continue to target other groups? The country wasn't ready to acknowledge blacks... and then women... then Japanese... now it's fighting against gays. When will we realize that we're doing the same damn thing over and over and continuing to bully groups of people we perceive as different? We think we've come so far, but have we really? Shouldn't actual change be seen in the fundamental way we treat people as a general rule? If so, we haven't learned a whole lot since the Emancipation Proclamation.

Very Cautiously Optimistic...

2008-11-05T00:12:00.002-05:00

Or should I say realistic? I cast my vote earlier today. I've been anti-McCain for some time, and at times pro-Obama, but not entirely. I had flashes of Libertarianism throughout (particularly during / after the vice presidential debate). But I voted for the person I thought would do a better job; I voted for the one I thought would have more of a chance to build consensus and work to repair the horrific legacy they are being given. I sat watching returns tonight with Angela, Runs With Spatula and Corky (and the dog), and while I know Obama is the projected winner / winner, I couldn't help but feel a bit sad seeing the students at Spelman, the footage from Harlem, and the gathering in Chicago. I see so much hope and expectation, and such elation, which is overwhelming and pulls my heart strings in a way I can barely articulate. But I can't help but think that noone's life is going to change as drastically and dramatically as they may think in the timeframe that they would like. And it concerns me...

And on a ridiculous sidenote, I wonder how long before spell check recognizes "Obama."

The Big Vote

2008-11-04T19:13:00.002-05:00

The great election is almost over in terms of polling times, at least in the Eastern Time Zone. I apparently had some visitors this weekend while I was in the Detroit area. Howard Pizzo stopped by - he's running for treasurer of the great township o' Delta. He left a brochure attached to my door knob. It's one of the few I actually read - it didn't bash his opponent, and spelled out his education and relevant work experience. What a concept! And someone from the RNC stopped by and dropped off brochures for Mark Walberg and McCain / Palin. They left them on my doormat, and I didn't bother to pick them up. There was certain satisfaction from stepping all over them for the last two days. However, when I returned home this evening, they were gone. And I was a little sad.

So, of course I must have a gripe about the election. Maybe not the election so much as people's response to the election. I read several articles online (LSJ, CNN, TPC, Freep, etc...), and so many people commented that they were excited to vote, as they voted every four years. When I got my ballot this morning, I was number 220. At 8:30 in the morning. I remember past non-presidential elections where the voter turnout seemed low. So, I checked the archives for Eaton County for the last election in May, for the Grand Ledge School Board. A whopping 128 people voted in the election from my precinct. A whole 8.96%. And I was not one of them. And neither were 91.04% of the rest of the registered voters in my precinct. And I think that's a horrible shame. Because to think about it, the local elections are very impactful - what's more important if you have kids than how they are educated (hence, school board elections)? Or, if you pay property taxes, how about those special elections containing millage and bond proposals? People like to complain about income taxes, but how about property taxes? How is it that the president has such a greater impact on my life than my locally-elected officials? I make it out for the big elections, and for some of the smaller ones, too. Now, my resolve is to vote in every election, regardless of how I think it it impacts me (or doesn't, being that I don't have kids or a home). And I resolve that I will research before voting. My voice still matters, and apparently it matters a lot when there's not a presidential election. And your voice matters, too. So, to all my friends who Baracked the Vote today, I'm expecting to see "I Voted" stickers on you after the NEXT election, too.

Ahhh...the Dakota Inn Rathskellar!

2008-11-02T23:38:00.002-05:00

I've enjoyed the Dakota Inn before, and Saturday was no exception. It is a wonderful German bar / restaurant in the old German section of Detroit. The Dakota is located on John R, just north of 6 Mile...not such a nice area, but such a wonderful place visit. Danielle, Frank and I arrived at 5, a little while before her dad and step-mom. We were quickly seated and ordered the Cheese & Sausage board, which is simply gouda, summer sausage and pretzels. It sounds a bit boring, but it's fantastic - the cheese melts in your mouth, and the summer sausage is spiced just right. Add a few German beers and we were off to a great meal! Danielle and I are borderline obsessed with the potato pancakes - they seem like they are made of both mashed and shredded potatoes, and fried to perfection. I ordered a side of red kraut. This sounded funny to me the first time I had it, but it's fantastic - it's a sweeter version of traditional sauerkraut, and paired with the potato pancakes and a dollop of sour cream, you have heaven on a fork. We overate to be sure, but the food is just so good - I think there's much to be said for simplicity in comfort food.

I Found a Kindred Spirit!

2008-11-01T10:42:00.003-04:00

At work a couple of weeks ago, we were answering questions from the "Would You Rather" page-a-day calendar. One referenced rickets, so we got into a discussion about vitamin deficiencies. This quickly led to a few Google Images searches for rickets, scabies and scurvy. This is one of the images I found regarding scurvy:I had to click on the link, and found this blog by Mandy in Bowling Green, KY. Some of her posts remind me so much of me and my friends (Mandy's scurvy post and blogging about random sights around town); others couldn't seem more foreign to me (strong belief in god and Christianity). It's interesting, really. I think the level our strengths in what we believe are similar, but we've obviously come to very different conclusions. Anyway, it's a blog I'm sure I'll be reading from time to time!

Carrie + Beer + Tequila = Hot Mess

2008-10-31T14:45:00.005-04:00

I don't know that I need to add much to that title. Thank heavens for good friends and a day to recuperate.

It just happened so fast. The shots went down smoothly. The beer tasted great. Then I stood up. Ooops.

B drove me home. I'm glad it was a nice day for a walk to Frank's today.

D called me this morning that she was in much the same shape, as she went on a pub crawl in Detroit last night. Funny to be an hour and a half away from each other, yet experience much the same thing. Beautiful.

I actually feel quite well now...no headache (thanks, Aleve!), my stomach is a little upset, but not too bad...I'm sure the sleep helped.

Note to self: just because it tastes good doesn't mean I should drink it...repeatedly.

Blogging From Work...Never Good

2008-10-27T14:46:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to avoid political discussions at work...and haven't been too successful. The issue of Palin's wardrobe just came up. I commented that she stated she was frugal, and was met with a retort that Alaska cuts $2,000 checks to residents when they have a budget surplus. I told the person that perhaps he should move to Alaska. I'd say "oops" if I were actually sorry.

Holy Mole-y: Part D

2008-10-20T23:38:00.002-04:00

I had a delightful trip back to the dermatologist's office this morning. I sat gleefully as she pulled out my three little stitches. We talked about the pathology results. The moles (yep - plural) were benign - yeay! But wait - moleS? Who knew? I just thought I was having one removed, but in my freak-of-nature way, I had two removed. A mole on a mole. Weird. It certainly didn't appear to be more than one, but thanks to the marvels of science and medicine, the dermatopathologist was able to diagnose two. One was congenital (from birth / shortly thereafter) and one from some point well after that.

So, after they pulled the stitches, they went on to glue a makeshift steri-strip to the "wound." It should wear off in 5 - 7 days, give or take a few, which would make it roughly 3 - 10 days. Hmm...sounds conspicuously like the margin of error for political polling. I was also given clearance to soak my hand (meaning I can get it wet and not worry). I didn't bother to tell them that my version of soaking involves an hour in chlorinated water twice per week. I think that might get me to the lower end of the steri-strip range. One can hope. I'll surprise myself if I don't rip it off at some point.

Holy Mole-y: Installment 3

2008-10-19T00:21:00.001-04:00

I just want the flippin' stitches out already. It's getting old. I'll be very happy to see the doctor at 8:45 Monday morning. Yeesh.

My New Toy

2008-10-18T23:49:00.003-04:00

I stayed at Chateau May (mom & dad's house) last Saturday night. Sunday morning, I made myself cinnamon toast with applesauce - a childhood favorite. It was inspiring. So much so that I bought my very own toaster. I know - strange to live without a toaster for over 7 years. But such is life - I never really wanted one before. If I wanted toast, I either heated up a frying pan or turned on the oven. But I finally decided to give in to the convenience.

I also decided to try my hand at homemade applesauce. Yes, I know buying it in the jar is easier. But I grew up on homemade applesauce, and it's so much better. I found a great recipe:
Ingredients:
3 - 4 lbs. apples, peeled, cored and cut into quarters
juice from one lemon
four strips of lemon peel
3" cinnamon stick
dash of salt
1 cup of water
1/4 cup dark brown sugar (my new favorite baking ingredient!)
Directions: Throw everything in a large pot. Bring it to a boil, then simmer for 20 - 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. The recipe also called for 1/2 cup of granulated sugar, but I thought that would make it entirely too sweet. So far, it's the best applesauce I've ever had.

Texting With D

2008-10-18T23:38:00.002-04:00

Friday, October 17:

D: Did you know October is National Domestic Abuse month?
C: To commit it? You have two more weeks to smack Foofie around.
D: Thanks. He just punched me in the face because you wrote that.
C: You deserved it and he only did it because he loves you.

I think D and I should form the anti-Lifetime channel.

Hey, guess what? I'm pretty.

2008-10-18T23:25:00.002-04:00

I must be glowing this week or something. Maybe the stars are aligned in a way they never have been before. But I had declarations from two men this week, both at gas stations, that I'm pretty. Actually, both were along the lines of, "Damn, you sure are pretty. Oh shit, I hope that's not your husband over there!" It's kind of funny, really. I never have the urge to walk up to some guy and say, "Damn, you sure are handsome!" Although, maybe I should do that anyway!

ER...who the heck is left?!?

2008-10-16T23:13:00.002-04:00

I just finished watching ER this evening. It was Abby's (Maura Tierney) last episode. So far this season, and we're not that far into it, the writers have gotten rid of three main characters - Luka, Abby and Pratt. Who the heck is left for the rest of the season? How interesting can it possibly get? I don't know, but I'm hoping to have more quiet Thursday nights like this so that I can actually watch the original airing of a show!

And yes, it made me cry a little.

Holy Mole-Y...the Update

2008-10-14T21:43:00.002-04:00

Since I had the mole / growth thing removed, I've been fairly compliant with the doctor's main order - I've avoided soaking my hand, which is very hard to do. I considered trying water aerobics, and even invested in some waterproof bandages to try out. I took a shower with one on, and thanks to some ridiculously sensitive skin that doesn't agree with adhesive, the 20 minutes the bandage was on was about all I could take. Now, I know that sounds dire. It's not like my hand was on fire, or skin started bubbling up or anything. What tends to happen is almost a burn-like rash that scabs up quite a bit...I've had times where I used a band-aid to cover a cut, and it took longer for the skin to heal that was in contact with the adhesive than the actual cut itself. It sucks. So, I'm sticking with gauze pads and paper tape. But that means no water aerobics until Monday. And I've been missing it desperately.